


Lit Me Up

by ThisisallMarvelsfault



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Bi-Curiosity, Brief mentions of nonconsensual activity (not in detail), Complicated sexual history, Exy-sexual Kevin Day, F/M, I fully support bisexual Kevin Day and you should too, Jeremy Knox is a good friend, M/M, Mild Sexual Content, Mutual pining (exy crush), Riko Moriyama is his own warning, This was supposed to be cute and short but that didnt happen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-10
Updated: 2018-10-01
Packaged: 2018-12-25 22:16:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 30,947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12045408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThisisallMarvelsfault/pseuds/ThisisallMarvelsfault
Summary: When Jeremy goes to South Carolina to pick up Jean, he and Kevin go to the court with a bottle of vodka and Kevin brings up Nicky's "list."[Or, the life and times of Kevin and Jeremy.]





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Lit Me Up by Brand New
> 
> When I grow up I want to be a heretic  
> I want to climb over the wall 'cause I'm not on the list  
> I want to put my hands to work till the work's done  
> I want to open up my heart like the ocean  
> It lit me up  
> It lit me up  
> It lit me up  
> It lit me up  
> It lit me up like a rag soaked in gasoline  
> In the neck of the bottle breaking right at my feet  
> It lit me up and I burned from the inside out  
> Yeah, I burned like a witch in a Puritan town  
> It lit me  
> It was a good dream

Riko. Exy. Sleep.

These were the things that Kevin knew to be true for a dozen years at Castle Evermore. He couldn’t control his sleep on account of the pain and nightmares, nor could he even think about controlling Riko, so he controlled Exy. He trained until he blew out his arms, until he was gasping for breath on the court floor, and took all the angry words he wanted to tell Riko and redirected them at his teammates. All to get better, to be better.

There was no shortage of Exy in Kevin’s life, but after all this time, he still found new and interesting things about the game that pushed him to be better.

Jeremy Knox was one of those things.

The rivalry between the Ravens and the USC Trojans was a staple in every season, and Kevin had watched it from the sidelines for years before he was on the team. Kevin kept it to himself, but the Trojans were his favourite team. Their skill seemed unbelievable considering how clean their play was. On top of that, they were always winning the Day Spirit Award and came off the court with smiles on their faces after being on the receiving end of dozens of barely legal checks from Raven backliners. They were one of the only teams to match the Ravens speed and passing, making their games fast-paced and exciting.

One year before Kevin made it onto the starting lineup, the Trojans met the Ravens at Castle Evermore for the championship game. Kevin and Riko were acting as the team mascots, but the master let them sit on the bench with the rest of the team so they could observe and hear the criticisms shouted out at players who came off the court.

Kevin sat quietly beside Riko, trying to keep as still as possible, when movement by the USC’s court door caught his attention. The Trojans were sending on a new striker once play stopped, and they was twisting their racquet while they waited on the opposite side of the court. The Ravens scored again, going up by three with 10 minutes left in the first half. A Trojan striker who looked dead on their feet slowly made their way to the court door while both teams fell back to their positions. The referee open the door, and after clacking the stick of the replacement, they limped to the bench.

The fresh striker walked to the first-fourth line and waited for play to begin with a fierce look of determination on his face. Even from where he was sitting, Kevin could tell he was one of the smallest people on the team, but he carried himself like he was seven feet tall. Big block letters on the back of his red and gold jersey said Knox and blonde hair snuck out the back of his helmet near the nape of his neck. He was paired with Johnson, which meant he wouldn’t make it off the court without being out of breath and covered in bruises.

The Raven dealer threw the ball down the court, and Knox and Johnson fought to keep each other away from their goalkeepers. A Trojan backliner managed to find some space and made a pass up to their starting striker, currently trying to outmaneuver Thea. They just barely caught the ball in their net before Thea’s racquet crashed down on theirs and the ball rolled toward Knox and Johnson, fighting to make it to the ball first. Knox won, scooping up the ball and pushing his way toward the Raven goal. Johnson was fast and managed to wrap himself around Knox to get in his face, but it wasn’t enough. With some of the best footwork Kevin had ever seen, Knox tripped up Johnson, who fell to his knees on the court floor, and shot the ball at a near impossible angle. The goal lit up red.

Kevin stood so fast he was almost dizzy. That shot shouldn’t have been possible. As Knox walked away from the goal, he made his way back to Johnson. The backliner had fallen to a sitting position on the court floor, which he would definitely regret when the master made him run an extra five miles in their next practice. Kevin couldn’t see Johnson’s face, but there was no doubt in his mind that the backliner was shocked by that goal as well. Knox slowed as he approached, ignoring his teammates’ celebrations, and offered Johnson a hand to help him up.

Kevin was still standing, but he heard Riko’s scoff from the bench and the master muttering something in Japanese. _10 miles_ , Kevin thought, _10 miles for making the Ravens look weak. Like they needed help._ Johnson ignored the hand and stood up on his own to get right in Knox’s face. Referees watched them, but Knox merely shrugged at whatever the Raven backliner was saying to him and went to join the other Trojans on the court.

While the Ravens in the inner court talked amongst themselves, Kevin approached the master and asked to see the Trojans’ lineup sheet. He recognized most of the names from studying games and players, but freshman were always a surprise. And this was a pleasant surprise.

Jeremy Knox. _Why didn’t the Ravens sign him?_ Even without Raven conditioning, he looked like he could outplay half of Edgar Allen's strikers. The thought of what he could accomplish on the court with Knox as a teammate nearly had his mouth watering.

As the teams made their way off the court for halftime, Kevin tried hard to not look like he was staring at the Trojan striker. Seasoned USC players patted him on the head as he passed, and when Knox pulled off his helmet, he had a toothy grin on his face. Kevin was still watching as the Trojan goalkeeper ruffled Knox’s hair and gave him a friendly hip check when Riko’s hand squeezed as hard as he could on the back of Kevin’s neck and forced him to look ahead to the Ravens.

Kevin did not look at Knox again until the end of the game. He got another goal, but it wasn’t enough: the Ravens won the game 11-5. When he watched the teams shake hands at half court, Kevin could see the shining smile on Knox’s face.

* * *

Winning the championship was exciting, but you couldn’t tell by the atmosphere in the Nest. There was no room for celebrations in a 16-hour day, so practice and Riko consumed Kevin’s time when he wasn’t busy with Court or his professional team. The small amount of quiet time Kevin had, drenched in Riko's presence, was hopelessly devoted to quick glances at Thea and game tapes.

Studying the second-best team in the country made sense to any passersby, but Kevin’s vested interest in the Trojans was a small spot of light in his life. He would have watched the games regardless, but he found himself looking out for a jersey with four golden letters on the back. Knox only managed to crack the lineup a few times during the season since was a freshman, but he had some memorable moments. With the amount of fifth years at USC, Kevin knew that Knox would be a starting striker in the fall. He’d be a powerful force in the next four years and a fierce competitor during the playoffs.

Kevin assumed that the darkness in his head and his heart made him skeptical of anyone who managed to smile that much during post-game interviews, but no matter how many games he watched or how many pictures he looked at, every smile felt as genuine as it could through the computer or TV screen.

If friendship was something the Ravens allowed, he’d gladly befriend this shiny striker.

* * *

When Kevin took his rightful place beside Riko on Edgar Allen’s starting lineup, he felt no nerves. How could he? He’d been at Evermore most of his life, Exy was his reason to keep moving, he could play other teams with Jean and Thea at his back, and the only place he felt truly alive was on the court. Kevin put on his happy face, but it wasn’t until he was staring down a backliner and aiming perfectly angled shot at the goal that he felt like he was truly himself.

His freshman year was a blur of classes, Riko, practice, Riko, lunch with Thea on the opposite side of the table, Riko, Jean patching up his shallow cuts and gashes, Riko, and sleep.

The media was enamored by Riko and Kevin bringing their talents to the nation’s best team, but when the lights went out and they went back to the Nest, all he wanted was to play. If he wasn’t playing, he was back in the dorms, where his teammates trained and ate and fucked.

Immersed in this environment in his teen years meant it didn’t take long for his boyish feelings about Thea to change. Kevin was still stunned by her possessive and dominant play, which was really the only way a woman could play on the Ravens in order to not be pushed around, but then it became more. He could appreciate her solid stance, daring opponents to move her, but heis eyes would wander to the thick thighs under her black shorts. He would watch as she took off her helmet, hair carefully braided and sweat dripping off her forehead, and he could feel something in the bottom of his stomach rolling.

She was still like a tank on the court, but an elegant one, with lean muscles and strong hands. The same muscles Kevin would think about touching when Riko’s breathing evened out at night and he was finally alone.

Despite his hopeless daydreaming, Kevin didn’t feel any better when Riko told them to solve their on-court bickering by having sex. When he and Riko lost their virginity to Lydia Shetfield, that was one thing; she was pretty, but Kevin felt no real emotion that night aside from primal urges. But having sex with Thea should have been something more, and it couldn’t with Riko watching from his bed across the room.

Thea sparked his Exy-filled mind first while he watched her on the court for four years, and his admiration for her as an athlete was what helped push his brain into thinking about her as a woman and not just a teammate. There was no time to let his fingers map out Thea’s smooth skin while his eternal shadow watched them with crossed arms a few feet away.

Thea, ever the Raven, was nonchalant when she picked up her clothes off the floor and told him that he fucked like a virgin and could use more practice. And Kevin gladly took up the chance to get more practice with Thea, but there were only so many times he could do that while watching her on the court every day and feeling something more, something that shouldn’t be looked at by Riko like a piece of meat, something that should just be between the two of them.

After that, Kevin just wanted the year, Thea’s last year, to be over. The shared glances and written notes were nice, but when all Kevin wanted to do was pray for her body like a man possessed after she had a particularly good practice, he decided it would be better if she was just gone. He wouldn’t be able to be with her, but he could watch her professional games and keep his love for her athleticism in tact. As such, Kevin pushed himself harder than necessary in practice when they were on the court together and dove into his college courses to keep himself preoccupied. It was a long nine months.

When they finally reached the playoffs, Kevin was happy to spend time travelling and away from Castle Evermore. The flight to California for their semi-final game against USC left Kevin feeling surprisingly light. Here, it felt like there was nowhere for the violence and darkness of his life to hide in the bright West Coast sun.

He was sweating in his black jeans and T-shirt as the team left the airport, but he could smell the ocean and the breeze on his neck felt like salvation. Riko was so close to him on the ride to the university that Kevin felt like he could feel Riko’s heartbeat under his skin. The second the door opened, he tried to keep his irritation at bay and threw himself into the excitement of being around his favourite team.

USC’s court was smaller than Evermore, everyone’s was, but the energy in this building lit Kevin up like a spark. The crowd was just starting to trickle in, and Kevin took all the red and gold in and tried to imagine what it would be like to play and live in a place like this. He quickly shook that thought from his brain; he would never leave the Ravens, Riko wouldn’t let him.

The Ravens changed out in stony silence as usual, letting the sounds of the crowd wash over them. The game had sold out and Kevin knew there would be a decent amount of Raven fans dotting the crowd with spots of black. The master ran down the lineup and doled out expectations and the punishment that would follow if there were any slipups. When the fear of God and losing had settled in everyone’s stomach, the team made their way out of the locker room and onto the inner court.

After Riko pushed the team through drills, Kevin stood against the plexiglass on the inner court and was lost in his thoughts while staring at the Trojans logo on the wood floor. USC was good, but the Ravens would win tonight, that much Kevin knew. Someone shouted nearby, but Kevin continued to stare at the court until he nearly went cross-eyed. With the noise of the crowd, he didn’t hear anyone approaching until a figure in red stopped about a foot away from him.

“It’s not Castle Evermore, but it still takes my breath away.” Kevin looked to his left and found Jeremy Knox standing beside him, looking up at him with a small smile on his face. Kevin looked back at the court, up to the scoreboard and out to the thousands of fans in the stands.

“I like it,” was all Kevin said, but he could see Knox’s smile in the barely there reflection on the plexiglass.

“I’m Jeremy Knox,” he said, and when Kevin turned to face him, he was holding his hand out. Kevin took it and gave him his strong, practiced handshake.

“Kevin Day.”

“Oh, I know. We all know when Exy royalty comes to town.” It should have been said with malice, or even sarcasm, but there was no trace of either when the words left Jeremy’s mouth. He let go of Kevin’s hand and gripped his racquet tightly with both hands. “I’ve been waiting for the day that I get to take on the perfect court.”

“You won’t be saying that in two hours after you’ve lost,” Kevin said. When Knox’s eyebrows fell, Kevin continued. “You’ve got a strong team, but your goalkeeper is still too fresh and neglects the bottom corners of the goal. You and your strikers are fairly fast though, so that should help you, if you can even make it past our backliners.”

“That’s a backhanded compliment if I’ve ever heard one,” Knox said with a light chuckle.

“If you wanted lies for encouragement, you should have asked someone else.” Kevin watched the small striker, expecting him to be offended and angry, but Jeremy was looking up at him with a smirk on his face.

“Fair point. Well, I’m glad I finally got to meet you. Good luck tonight,” Knox said, before moving to walk back to his team.

“Good luck to you too, Knox.”

“Please,” the Trojan said, turning back to face Kevin with that big smile he normally wore in interviews, “call me Jeremy.”

As he walked away, Kevin had a fleeting, selfish thought. He wished once more that Jeremy was picked up by the Ravens. But later, when Jeremy smiled at him and shook his hand after a narrow defeat, Kevin decided that he didn’t want him at Edgar Allen after all, because there’s no way that bright grin would survive five years of darkness.

* * *

“Kevin!”

Riko stopped talking and leaned to the left so he could look around Kevin to the person who interrupted him. He quickly replaced his scowl for his practiced TV smile and looked back up at his property.

“Looks like you have a visitor,” Riko said, keeping the fake smile on his face. “Go, but if you’re not back here in five minutes, I will beat you with your own racquet.” Kevin merely nodded before turning around to make his way toward the Trojans bench.

“Hi, Jeremy.”

He gave Kevin a friendly wave and ushered him closer.

“Come on, Coach wants to meet you.”

Kevin walked to the visitors bench, standing out like a dark mark in a sea of red. Red was Kevin’s favourite colour, even before he became a USC fan, but Kevin felt guilt bubbling in his stomach. The master would punish him for fraternizing with the enemy after the game, whether the Ravens won or lost.

“Kevin Day,” Coach Rhemann emerged from the group to shake his hand. “Nice to meet you. You had a great game against Penn State. Your passes are a treasure to watch, some unbelievable stuff.”

“That means a lot coming from a coach like you. You’ve got quite the team here,” Kevin replied, which drew a chuckle from Jeremy.

“He was a lot less friendly with me,” he said, giving Rhemann an exaggerated eye roll, which earned him a side glance from Kevin.

“Well I’m not saying that I wouldn’t tighten up your defense and get your strikers working on their corner shots,” Kevin said looking back at Rhemann.

“There it is,” Jeremy said, not looking up from his arm guards while adjusting the straps.

“But, the fact that you play as well and clean as you do is amazing. I watched your semi-final game against Penn State as well and I was very impressed. You must run a tight ship.”

“A lot of practice and a great attitude can go a long way,” Rhemann replied, folding his clip board into his chest. “Best of luck tonight. And hey, you pass too much for someone with your aim. If you have the shot, you should take it.” Kevin couldn’t think of a lie quick enough, his brain flying back to Thea’s words from a few months ago: _You know you’re better than Riko, right?_ The memory filled made Kevin’s mouth feel like it was full of cotton, but thankfully Rhemann turned back to his team. Jeremy took up his spot in front of Kevin.

“He really couldn’t believe The Kevin Day said we had a strong team. Coach thought I made it up to motivate the team, so I had to let him see for himself,” Jeremy said, wide grin and all.

“I don’t dole out compliments all that often, so he should consider himself lucky.”

“He does, and so do I,” Jeremy said, reaching over to pat Kevin on the shoulder. He flinched ever so slightly. When you’ve spent years with Riko and the master, touch wasn’t something you reveled in. Kevin was still looking for the right words when Jeremy’s head turned to the right and looked past him. “Looks like Coach Moriyama wants you back.”

“Yeah, I should go. Good luck, Jeremy.”

“You too, Kevin.”

The match was only slightly better than last year’s championships, but facing his favourite team gave Kevin an edge that he wasn’t totally prepared for. Exy was a rough, physical sport, but playing against the Trojans meant the usual malice and angry chants weren’t there. At least on USC’s part. The Ravens were still rude, calling the Trojans names and snarling insults at them whenever they could.

Aside from focusing on his play and mentally keeping himself in check so that he wouldn’t outscore Riko, Kevin spent a considerable amount of time focusing on two other people on the court. Jeremy and Thea spent most of the night matched up against each other, and when Kevin was subbed out, his eyes were glued on the pair. Thea was as unmoving and violent as ever, but Jeremy never gave up, pushing and moving in every way he knew how. Thea’s anger was palpable even through the court walls and Jeremy’s determination was the push the Trojans used to keep going.

One minute Kevin would be watching Thea’s arms as she threw rebounds and caught stray balls with unruly force, the strength of her arms rippling through her biceps. The next, Jeremy was spinning to avoid her with all the grace of a dancer in the body of a trained athlete. It took more than Kevin would admit to look away when one of the two of them didn’t have the ball, but his admiration for each of them threatened to escape from his chest and swallow him whole.

The Ravens won, predictably, but the Trojans had cut the goal differential from last year’s championship game in half. Jeremy got four goals himself, and that spoke volumes for a team that isn’t trained to pass to one striker more than the others.

Kevin would be utterly shocked if Jeremy wasn’t captain of the Trojans next year.

Thea was approached by Court once again, and this time, after winning her fifth championship with the Ravens, she said yes.

* * *

Kevin bounced between his professional teams, US Court and the Ravens all summer, training and pushing himself as hard as he could. With his first NCAA championship under his belt, his media time almost doubled. Everyone wanted to talk to him and Riko now that their Exy prophecy was finally coming true.

On the morning before their sophomore year, Riko and Kevin were invited to Kathy Ferdinand’s morning show to talk about their summer and their hopes of being repeat champions this school year. The crowd was full of Ravens fans, and after the casual, enthusiastic back and forth Kathy was so good at, she dove into her rehearsed topic.

“I think it goes without saying that you boys would like to raise the trophy again this year, and I’m having a hard time thinking about who could even attempt to challenge you,” she said, smiling at the two of them with her arms folded on her desk.

“There’s a reason we’re the best team in the country,” Riko said, garnering a few whoops from the crowd.

“USC has always been a formidable opponent, and I think they’ll be even more of a challenge this year,” Kevin said, earning a noticeable look from Riko.

“They have managed to beat Penn State in the semi-finals for the past two years,” Kathy agreed, before tilting her head in Kevin’s direction. “I didn’t know Ravens were allowed to be fans of other teams. It’s kind of cute.”

“They've earned it. The Trojans have always been an incredible team, even before I was playing with the Ravens. Not only have they grown in those years, but they just named Jeremy Knox as their captain, so I think they’ll get even better under his leadership.”

“An Exy crush on USC!” Kathy said, and the crowd responded with a sound of admiration. “You always manage to surprise me, Kevin Day.”

“They’re great competitors and they put up a good fight.”

Kathy moved on to another topic that Riko could chime in on, and Kevin could already feel the pain he would undergo for supporting another team on national television. But it was the truth, so it was worth it.

The pain of Riko’s petty jealousy later that night was nothing compared to the pain of Riko’s fiery wrath that December.

* * *

Andrew drove Kevin to the court in the afternoon.

It should have been just a regular day, but last week Wymack announced that Kevin had signed with Palmetto State University as a striker instead of an assistant coach. Ravens fans from West Virginia to Canada were livid and full of rage. Kevin was trying not to watch what the sports networks were saying about it, but he couldn’t help it. It made matters worse that Riko had not been seen since Kevin's “accident,” so fans of the perfect court were as confused as they were angry.

Whenever Kevin was on the verge of a panic attack, Andrew would tell him to get in the car and they would drive to the court so Kevin could practice. Today, Wymack was already there with his office door open and the radio on. When Andrew slammed the front door closed, Wymack came out of his office with a small box.

“This came for you,” Wymack said, thrusting the box into Kevin’s chest. Kevin gave the box a hesitant look: After all the vandalism and backlash from Ravens fans, the chances of someone mailing him a suspicious package grew exponentially every day. Wymack saw the way his eyes glanced down at the box like it would explode in his hands and continued. “Don’t worry, it’s not booby trapped. Or if it is, you’ll have to have some words with your favourite team.”

That was enough to make Kevin turn the box over in his hands until he found the return address: the University of Southern California. Without another word, he took the box back to the lounge and sat down on one of the chairs to open it.

Using his keys to cut the tape along the sides, Kevin ripped open the top and pushed aside tissue paper. On top was a hand-written note, and while he didn’t recognize the delicate writing, he definitely knew the name printed at the bottom.

_The court wouldn’t be the same without you. Welcome back._

_Jeremy_

Kevin’s mouth twitched up on one side, and he gently moved the note to the arm of the chair and dipped his hands back into the box to pull out the soft red object underneath. It was a Trojans T-shirt, with USC printed in gold letters on the front.

It instantly became Kevin’s favourite shirt, and a ray of light in his dark wardrobe.

* * *

“I have a backliner for you. Do you have room in next year’s lineup?”

Jeremy’s smile dropped. Kevin led them away from the other Foxes so he could explain himself.

“Are you talking about Jean Moreau?”

“I am,” Kevin replied, and watched a multitude of emotions wash over Jeremy’s face. The prominent freckles on his face moved when Jeremy’s nose bunched up in confusion.

“He's not staying with the Ravens? And if he's not, why doesn’t he want to go to PSU?” Kevin took a deep breath and tried to keep his voice from cracking.

“Jean and I’s relationship is complicated at best. I honestly don’t know if we’ll ever be able to play on the same team again, and he turned down Wymack’s offer before the words even left his mouth. He needs to keep playing, but he can’t go back to Edgar Allen and he refuses to stay at Palmetto State any longer than he has to.” Kevin vaguely realized he just told Jeremy that Jean was on their campus, but if he trusted anyone to keep that secret, it was Jeremy. “Exy is all Jean has, and I want to help give it back to him, but it needs to be in the right place. He’s one of the best backliners in Class I Exy, it’s not a slight to your team.”

“I would never take that as a slight, Kevin,” Jeremy said, putting his hands between them like Kevin was going to take it personally. “But all of this?” he said, gesturing to the court and the fans, “This is a far cry from Castle Evermore. Would this not be more of a shock? Would he not be more comfortable with something neutral, rather than going from one extreme to the other?”

“I don’t want Jean to play here because I think you have the best team in the league, although that will help him adjust. I want him to play here because it’s so different than what he’s used to,” Kevin said. After a long pause, Kevin looked into Jeremy’s eyes. “I wouldn’t trust him with another team, but I know that the Trojans will help him, and I trust you. He needs help, and I’m not the one who can give it to him.”

Jeremy nodded, but didn’t say another word. The crowd was roaring to life as the Trojans fight song began to play, but Jeremy didn’t move. “It means a lot that you would trust me with something so important,” Jeremy said.

“You were the only person I thought of. If anyone can help Jean, it’s the Trojans.”

“I’ll talk to Coach about it,” Jeremy said. Kevin gave him one of his genuine smiles, and that made Jeremy smile back, brighter than the stadium lights above them. Jeremy reached out to put his hand on Kevin’s shoulder and gave it a hard squeeze, hard enough that Kevin felt it underneath his shoulder pads. “Come to the home locker room after the game and we’ll figure out where to go from here.”

“Okay,” Kevin said, and stood still soaking it all in. Jeremy would talk to Rhemann about it. He was one step closer to finding Jean a safe home.

Jeremy took a folded piece of paper out of the pocket of his shorts and held it up for Kevin.

“Here’s our line-up for tonight,” Jeremy said, but Kevin turned to walk back to the Foxes without reaching out for it.

“Give it to Wymack yourself, he’s been asking for it for an hour.” Jeremy laughed, catching up to Kevin to walk beside him.

“I’ve honestly missed your cheery disposition.” Kevin gave him a skeptical look, but Jeremy’s smirk said he was trying to get a rise out of the him.

* * *

After everyone had changed out, Kevin made his way to the Trojans' locker room. There was an eerie silence in the stadium: Hard-core Trojan fans stayed until the very end, but made their way out to the parking lot in a calm and quiet manner. Every time Kevin had been at USC with the Ravens, he could barely hear himself think over the noise of fans for both the home and away team. Even in the locker room, the haunting noise of spectators was only rivaled by that of Evermore. In a strange way, it used to make Kevin feel at home. Now, fresh off a win that shouldn’t have been possible, Kevin could hear his sneakers scuffing the pristinely waxed floors as he walked down the long, bright corridor.

Jeremy was talking to two of his teammates, and by the way they stood, Kevin assumed they’d been two who had played in tonight's game. They almost took a step back as Kevin approached, likely because of the defensive scowl that always made him look unapproachable, but Jeremy still smiled at him. Kevin watched the two Trojans head out the way he came; one had the courage to say goodbye to Kevin, but all he did was nod back. When they disappeared from view, Jeremy spoke.

“So, Jean.”

“Yes. Talk to Coach Rhemann, and when you decide, let us know.” Jeremy did a quick scan of the hallway and as far as he could see into the locker room from his spot on the wall and lowered his voice.

“So he’s with you right now?”

“He’s somewhere safe. Resting.”

“Okay, well here,” Jeremy reached into the pocket of his bright red Trojans hoodie and pulled out a folded piece of paper. “That’s my number. Send me a text so I know how to contact you and I should have an answer for you in the next few days.”

Kevin reached out to take the paper from him, but Jeremy held onto it tight and their hands stilled between them. It wasn’t until Kevin looked up that he saw Jeremy’s troubled gaze on the top of his hand. He’d reached out with his left hand, and the deep white scar from his fingers to his wrist felt like a flashing billboard. Jeremy had brought it up in front of the rest of the Foxes, but this was the first time he’d got a really good look at the damage Riko had caused. Few people stared when they thought it was just a skiing accident, but now that the truth was out, everyone had a reason to take another look. It was as though they expected Riko’s name to be carved next to it to mark his artistry.

When he looked back up to Jeremy's face, his brows were furrowed and his concerned eyes were on Kevin’s face but he slowly let go of the paper. Kevin smothered it in his fist and shoved it into the pocket of his shorts.

“I’ve got to get back to my team.”

“Of course, but hey,” Jeremy’s toothy grin was at odds with his tired body, but it still looked natural. “You’re welcome to text me even when it’s not about Jean. Don’t be a stranger.”

Another one of Kevin’s real smiles crept onto his face.

“I won’t. And maybe we can meet up and practice sometime. We’ll work on your rebounds. They’re getting sloppy.” Jeremy’s bright laugh echoed through the corridor when Kevin turned around to make his way back to the Foxes.

“Never change, Kevin Day. Never change.”

* * *

The Foxes were exhausted. Happy, but exhausted.

They had dethroned the Ravens, just like they said they would all year. Just like Kevin knew they would, although he would never admit how much faith he had in his team. They worked hard this year, and Kevin could say without a doubt that they deserved this.

Riko’s stunt with Neil after the game had enraged Ravens fans. Or rather, Andrew breaking Riko’s arm had enraged them. The fans probably had no clue that Riko would have taken Neil’s head off right then and there, no matter the spectators and the cameras.

They changed out as fast as they could, but they were held in the visitors lounge for longer than necessary. For once, being shrouded in black didn’t bother him. He had beat his demons and proved what he had known for years, what Thea had told him in her last year, what Neil had been telling him all year: Kevin was better than Riko.

Neil was called away by security, and while everyone knew this had to be something to do with Ichirou, no one said a word. The team talked about the game, their best plays, and how excited they were to see their family and friends. Andrew stood against the wall with his bag on one shoulder and Neil's on the other, completely silent.

Kevin took his phone out of his bag to text Thea now that they were back on proper speaking terms. His phone was full of messages and calls from former teammates and coaches, but two messages caught his eye.

**Jeremy Knox [10:01]**

_KEVIN!!_

**Jeremy Knox [10:03]**

_That was amazing! I don’t want to interrupt your celebrations, but you should absolutely call me when you get a chance to talk about the game! Congrats dude, YOU DESERVE IT!!_

Neil came back with a smile threatening to split his face in two, and they finally made their way out of Evermore at 2:30 in the morning. The second Kevin’s bag hit the floor in his room, he took his phone out to call Jeremy. He didn’t really give any thought to what time it was, but Jeremy picked up after three rings and sounded as energetic as he normally did.

“Kevin Day, you were magnificent! Honestly, I kinda lost my mind a little when you switched to your left hand. Well, we all did! The sportscasters, the people in the stands, even all the Trojans. It was just … wow. Oh my god, and that last goal?”

Kevin replied as best he could, but he was content to just let Jeremy run through all of his favourite moments of the game. He was glad that Jeremy didn’t bring up Riko -- Kevin was trying very hard to not think about him -- the discussion kept to the Foxes and their plays.

“I think that’s the best game I’ve ever seen you play.”

“Really?”

“Absolutely, Mr. NCAA champion.” Kevin could hear Jeremy’s smile through the phone, and if he closed his eyes, he could see it, too.

Three hours later, Wymack was pounding on the door to his hotel room. Riko was dead.

* * *

Kevin’s last week of school passed in a blur.

He tried to focus on all his final exams, but his thoughts were still on Riko, and every time he blinked he was back at the funeral, surrounded by Raven black for all the wrong reasons.

Kevin was thankful that Wymack had stayed with him in West Virginia, but it didn’t make him feel any better. Kevin's life went on, and he had to return to Palmetto State and finish up the school year. Kevin still didn’t really understand why Riko’s death hurt him this much, but his teammates understood even less. Aaron and Nicky made several remarks about how hard Kevin was taking it, but luckily exams kept him away from Fox Tower for most of the week. By the time school was officially out for the summer, Kevin was happy to have a month and a half of near freedom before practice started up.

Wymack offered to let Kevin stay with him for the weeks before summer practice started up. He didn’t know whether he could do that yet, and as such agreed to go back to Abby’s and stay with Jean before he left for California. Jean didn’t want to talk to him, especially after what happened to Riko, but he stayed just in case.

If Kevin had his way, he’d set up his things in the lounge of the court and never leave.

It was one week before the old Foxes returned and the six new Foxes stepped on the court for the first time. Kevin had planned to go for a run, but he usually did that with Neil now that the threat of the Moriyamas was no longer hanging over their heads, and Neil and Andrew were nowhere to be found. Instead, he walked to the court. Once he opened the doors to the lounge and saw the championship trophy lit up in its case, he felt an overwhelming sense of pride.

Kevin threw himself on the couch and pulled his laptop out of his bag to watch a professional game. Once he was comfortable, he put his earbuds in his ears and devoted himself to finding new moves or footwork that he could use or teach Neil. Three games later, San Francisco’s striker scored a goal on an impressive behind-the-back shot and a sound near his head shook him out of his trance.

“What a shot.” Kevin pulled out one of his earbuds and looked up and over the arm of the couch. Jeremy Knox, clad in a red USC T-shirt and light jeans, smiled down at him before looking back at the screen of his laptop to watch the replay of the goal. “Is that from last night’s game?”

“What are you doing here?”

“I’m here to pick up the precious cargo,” Jeremy said, sitting on the floor near Kevin’s spot on the couch so he could keep watching the game.

“Jean isn’t supposed to leave until tomorrow.”

“I know, Coach and I are spending the night so we can all leave together,” Jeremy replied, and grabbed Kevin’s discarded earbud and put it in his own ear.

Kevin sat up and looked down the hall to look at Wymack’s open office door. He could barely hear what they were saying, but he could identify Coach Rhemann’s voice anywhere after the amount of post-game interviews he’s watched in the past 10 years.

He handed Jeremy his laptop and went to say his brief hellos. When Kevin returned to the lounge, Jeremy had taken his spot, lying across the entire couch, but unlike Kevin, his feet didn’t have to hang off the side. Also unlike Kevin, Jeremy immediately moved when Kevin approached so that he would have a place to sit. Jeremy took out both earbuds and glanced at the trophy cabinet with a smile.

“It looks good here.”

“You say that like you don’t wish it was sitting in your stadium right now,” Kevin said, rolling his eyes and taking a seat next to him. Jeremy swatted the air and scoffed, looking back at Kevin.

“I don’t see the problem in being happy for a friend. I would hope you’ll be happy for me when the Trojans win next year,” Jeremy said.

“Don’t get ahead of yourself, Knox,” Kevin replied, but gave him one of his genuine smiles. “You’re right though, I’d be happy if you won.”

“Captain of the Trojans fan club.” Jeremy smiled at him before getting off the couch to look at the photos of Foxes past and present that lined the walls of the lounge. “I’m going to go meet Jean, but Coach wants some private time with our new backliner, so I was wondering if you had plans tonight?”

Kevin went from Raven hive mind to spending all his time with the cousins, so his new found freedom should have been thrilling, but it felt more like a hoop to jump through. He’d been trying to spend more time alone, but it felt so odd after all these years. The farthest Kevin ever got was going to the court alone, which was where he felt most comfortable and meant he could practise as much as he’d like. He would work on it this school year, but the thought of leaving campus alone was enough to make his skin crawl.

“Plans?”

“Yes, Kevin,” Jeremy said, running his hand through his hair as he turned back around to face the couch. “You know, things to do? I know there’s a man in his early 20s hidden somewhere underneath the exterior of a grumpy Exy master. This is the first time I’ve been to PSU, so can you show a guy around?”

If Kevin had to choose anyone to wander around with, Jeremy would be it. He wouldn’t be alone and there were a lot of places on campus that Kevin was familiar with.

“Okay, but can you wear a helmet while we walk around? I’m only used to spending this much time with you on the court.” Jeremy laughed, coming to stand in front of him.

“Did Kevin Day just make a joke?”

“Who said I was joking?”

“Two jokes? Stop, Kevin, or you’ll break. Quick, insult my footwork so I know you’re okay.”

* * *

Kevin took Jeremy to the pub on campus and praised the quinoa salad for it’s protein content. The strikers had never spent this much time together, nor this much time alone, but Jeremy was just as bright and talkative as Kevin always thought he would be off the court. They spent most of the meal talking about Exy, which Kevin excitably picked his brain over without asking for any tips or tricks outright. But he wanted to.

“What time is your flight out?”

“One p.m., I believe,” Jeremy said, pausing to scroll through his phone to confirm. He nodded before looking back across the table at Kevin. “Your coach is driving the three of us to the airport and we’re spending the night with your nurse.”

“Abby. I’m staying there, too,” Kevin said.

“She seems nice. Great of her to let us stay at her house,” Jeremy said. He finished up his food and checked his phone once more. When he put it back on the table, his hands started to fidget. “Um, I have some questions about Jean.”

“What kind of questions?” Kevin stopped eating and put his hands in his lap to give Jeremy his full attention.

“I’ve been very supportive of Jean in front of the Trojans, but of course I am because it was my idea to bring him on the team,” Jeremy said, playing with the frayed edge of his napkin on the table top. “But honestly? I’m a little scared.”

“I don’t think Jean would-”

“No, no, not of Jean,” Jeremy interrupted, holding his hands out between them like he could physically stop Kevin from talking. “I’m scared of me.”

“Jeremy, that’s ridiculous,” Kevin said, shaking his head and picking up his fork to angrily stabbed his salad. This was Jeremy, he's probably never done anything bad or offensive in his life.

“It’s not though! What if I say the wrong thing? I don’t want him to assume I think he’s weak or scared, but what if I can’t find that line and he thinks I’m babying him? And if something happens to him or my team, it’ll be my fault. I don’t think I can live with that,” Jeremy said, his voice faltering on the last sentence. He took a deep breath, but Kevin had to put an end to this rambling right now.

“Listen,” Kevin said while Jeremy’s uneasy eyes looked right into his. “It’s going to be hard, I’m not going to lie to you, but you will find a way. And he might not understand it right away, but at some point down the road, Jean will appreciate that you took a chance on him and brought him onto your team. One day, he’ll realize that he deserved to have a second chance.” Jeremy nodded at him and his fingers started fidgeting again.

“Is there anything you can tell me? You’re as close to the source as I’m willing to go and I want to know if there are things I shouldn’t bring up,” Jeremy said.

“He won’t want to talk about it. Any of it,” Kevin said, going back to his salad but mostly just pushing stuff around the bowl. “If he’s anything like me, he won’t want to talk about it for a long, long time.” He couldn’t look up, because he was sure that the look Jeremy would give him would break something inside him.

“You can-”

“Exy will help him. It will give him a goal and something to focus on. And he probably won’t want to be alone. Ravens always travel in packs, so he won’t be used to being by himself.” Kevin kept the conversation on Jean, because there were only so many broken former Ravens that Jeremy should have to deal with.

“Okay, that’s a start,” Jeremy said and somehow he managed to find his smile again. When Kevin reached for his drink, Jeremy spoke again. “If I have any questions or whatever, can I talk to you?”

“I don’t know how much help I’ll be,” Kevin replied, finger rubbing the lip of his pint glass, “but yeah.” Jeremy’s smile was so bright that Kevin had to take a drink.

“Thanks,” Jeremy said, seemingly stashing his fears and insecurities away for the night. A change in topic was needed, and Jeremy was happy to oblige. “I’m surprised you’re drinking beer. Not worried about how it’ll effect your play?”

Kevin raised an eyebrow at Jeremy, finishing his drink a little faster than necessary and almost slamming his empty glass onto the table.

“I could drink a 40 and still kick your ass up and down the court,” Kevin replied with an air of condescension he normally saved for his own teammates. Jeremy feigned offence, but his mouth betrayed him and curled up with the hint of a smile.

“I’d like to see you try, Day.”

The waiter came to the table with the bill, which Kevin quickly took out of his hands and stuffed some money in the bill holder before Jeremy could object. When the waiter left, Kevin looked back at Jeremy.

“We should,” he said.

“Seriously?”

“I’ve got vodka and the court is empty,” Kevin said. Jeremy looked hesitant, but didn’t look like he’d object. “Unless you think I’m right and you’re scared.”

“Oh, you’re on.”

* * *

“Oh my god, good thing Kevin took down all his Trojans posters or this would be really embarrassing,” Nicky said from the living room when Kevin and Jeremy walked into Abby’s house. Kevin took off his shoes and paused in the doorway.

“Play well enough and maybe someone will want to put your poster on their wall.”

“Excuse you, I’m a national champion,” Nicky snarked before turning his attention back to his laptop.

Jeremy was taking in the living room and turned just in time to see Neil and Andrew come out of the kitchen.

“Hey guys,” Jeremy smiled and waved, garnering a polite hello from Neil and complete silence from Andrew. Neil flashed Nicky five fingers before they made their way out the front door.

“Abby is kicking us out for the night so you guys can have a place to sleep,” Nicky told them, closing up his laptop and putting it in his backpack. Jeremy had a concerned look on his face, but Nicky just laughed held up his hand. “Oh don’t worry, I have a house in Columbia. We’re not being kicked out onto the street. I’d invite you, since we’re going out, but I hear you have to be on a flight at a human hour tomorrow.”

“Oh, I think we’ll have it covered here,” Jeremy said, looking at Kevin. The number of obscene things Nicky could say flew through Kevin’s brain, so he grabbed Jeremy by the shoulder and pushed him down the hallway. When they got to the bedroom, Aaron was putting his overnight bag together, and he nodded at Kevin and Jeremy.

Kevin dug around in his dresser for a bottle of vodka and grabbed his extra gym bag from his desk to hide it in.

“Were you saving that for a special occasion?,” Jeremy asked, but Kevin didn’t get the chance to respond.

“Yeah, a Tuesday,” Aaron said before throwing his bag on his back. “Kevin needs vodka more than he needs oxygen.”

Kevin’s lip curled up and he was ready to spit venom, but Jeremy replied instead when he took the strap of the gym bag out of Kevin’s hands and slung it over his shoulder.

“He didn’t know me in my freshman year, I’m sure I can give him a run for his money,” Jeremy said with a wave of his hand.

Aaron left at the sound of the Maserati starting up in the driveway, and Kevin looked down at his phone and saw that it was only 6 p.m. Kevin needed at least four hours on the court if he was finally going to be able to play with Jeremy. He may never get this opportunity again, and he’d been thinking about it for more than three years. After telling Abby where they were going, they took off down Perimeter Road.

The walk to the court in the breezy summer evening was enough to get Kevin’s blood pumping again, and when he let them into the stadium he could hear his heartbeat in his ears.

“I’ll get you some light gear.” Kevin lead Jeremy to the gear closet and threw on the lights. “I hope you like orange,” he said, fishing around for shorts, arm and shin pads, and a practice jersey. Kevin grabbed a racquet from a hook on the wall last and turned around to see Jeremy standing in the doorway with the bottle of vodka in his hands and his lips wet.

“I’m getting a head start to make it easier for you,” Jeremy said with a cocky smile before rubbing his mouth on the back of his hand.

“I don’t need your pity,” Kevin replied, walking to stand close enough to tower over Jeremy. Kevin took the bottle from his hands and downed a few mouthfuls before looking back at Jeremy. He was watching Kevin with an impressed look.

“Damn.”

“There are two things I don’t joke about: Exy and vodka.” A loud laugh escaped out of Jeremy, and Kevin wondered whether the booze hit him that fast or if he actually enjoyed Kevin’s bad jokes. Jeremy reached out to take the gear out of Kevin’s hands.

“Don’t finish that without me, I’ve got promises to keep.” Kevin nodded and lead Jeremy into the men’s locker room.

Kevin heard him mumble something about neon, and when he turned around, Jeremy’s fingers were running across the lockers. In the florescent light, his blonde hair and dark tan made him stand out against the alarmingly orange doors. It was odd to see Jeremy surrounded by anything other than red and gold.

Kevin pulled his eyes away and opened his locker to pull out his gear, tossing some water bottles in the gym bag along with the vodka. Jeremy wandered around to the bathrooms while Kevin started getting ready, and by the time he was sitting on the bench tying his shoes, Jeremy emerged from the bathroom looking like a true Fox.

“We’re not going to get in trouble for this, are we?”

“You do remember that this is the Foxhole Court, right?” Kevin asked, raising his eyebrow and sending a look at Jeremy. “I’m surprised you even agreed to this. Thought you’d want to be at 100% for Jean tomorrow, Captain.”

“Like I said, you didn’t know me in my freshman year. I can drink with the best of them,” Jeremy replied. He picked up the alcohol and water-filled gym bag before taking a small curtsy at the locker-room door. “Queens first.”

Kevin rolled his eyes but went through the door, Jeremy following close behind. They walked out the foyer, Kevin picking up a bucket of balls on the way, and onto the inner court. As the stadium lights slowly blinked, Jeremy stopped to take in the Foxhole Court for the first time.

“Okay, the orange is growing on me,” Jeremy said before pushing past him, gently dropping Kevin's gym bag just outside the court door. Jeremy bent over to fish the vodka out, took another swig before handing the bottle to Kevin and heading onto the court with a ball in hand.

Without the commotion of a dozen people on the court, Jeremy’s fluid movement looked even more gracefully. The alcohol didn’t seem to slow him down, and as the pair lightly passed the ball to each other to warm up, Kevin could openly inspect Jeremy’s form. Even though he was at least half a foot smaller than Kevin, Jeremy moved like he could take up the entire court if he pleased.

Kevin started by showing him Raven precision drills. He’d normally be opposed to showing any rival the intense practices he puts himself through, but soon Jeremy would have Jean and there was no way Jean wouldn’t put the Trojans through Raven drills so they could get better. By about the fourth or fifth run-through of each drill, Jeremy started to catch on and his concentrated expression turned into excitement. Kevin, for all his harshness, even managed to compliment Jeremy when he made good progress.

They took breaks at the court door, slowly working their way through the bottle. Jeremy was true to his word and could drink at a decent pace, but at this point no one could match Kevin when it came to drinking straight vodka. Kevin could spot his own minor slipups on the court, the alcohol messing with his aim and balance, but Jeremy doesn’t seem to notice. He, on the other hand, practised with some kind of reckless abandon. His body was loose when he reached for balls that were just out of his reach, but he did it anyways and laughed when he narrowly missed and had to take off down the court to catch them.

When Kevin finished all eight Raven drills, Jeremy became the teacher. He ran through some of the best practices he learned from high school and USC, clever drills that definitely gave Kevin better insight into how someone his size could get around six-and-a-half-foot backliners with ease. Fancy footwork to trip up opponents, one-handed drills for when you need to push someone away from you and one move Jeremy hasn’t yet managed to use in a game but was dying to. When Kevin got too focused or in too deep, Jeremy was there to throw praise at him and offer him helpful tips. He really was one of the best captains in the NCAA, and something in Kevin's chest gave a tug when he thought about how Jeremy’s patience would help Jean. Not right away, it would probably annoy the shit out of him at first, but somewhere down the line he would see why Kevin picked the Trojans.

After three hours, they were both comfortably tipsy and still high on adrenaline. Kevin headed back to the court door to get the rest of the vodka and brought it out to half court. Jeremy was at the home goal, throwing the ball a few inches above the goal and catching the rebound with his racquet behind his back, picking up speed and alternating back and forth. Kevin could watch Jeremy do that for hours, but they still hadn’t faced off against each other and that’s why they were really here.

Kevin tapped the end of his racquet on the ground, and when Jeremy next caught the ball, he turned around to face him. He was breathing heavily, but he was smiling like it would pain him to be anything less than ecstatic. Kevin shook the vodka in his direction, a few shots worth rumbling around the bottom of the clear bottle, so Jeremy made his way toward him. Taking lazy, slow steps to half court, Jeremy lifted the edge of his practice jersey up to wipe the sweat off his forehead, exposing his muscled stomach and the bottom inch of his chest pad. Kevin lips just barely parted and he stared so intensely that the bottle nearly dropped out of his hands.

Jeremy was attractive and fit, Kevin knew that, but knowing it and seeing it, surrounded by Fox orange and accompanied by the flush on Jeremy’s cheeks, were two different thing. It triggered something in Kevin, and he took a few seconds to recover. When Jeremy put his jersey back down and smiled up at him, Kevin took a jump he never thought he’d take.

“Nicky has a list,” Kevin said, the butt of his racquet hitting the ground.

“A list of what?” Jeremy asked, oh-so oblivious to where Kevin was going with this. But Kevin knew, and his heart threatened to beat out of his chest with vodka-fuelled adrenaline.

“Of people he and his boyfriend are allowed to have an affair with.” Jeremy looked up, shocked, but he didn’t say anything. “Thea and I brought it up-“

“Are you dating Theodora Muldani?” Jeremy interjected, crossing his arms and nodding in approval.

“Yes, but that’s not the point,” Kevin continued, voice dipping into annoyance before he remembered who he was with and what he was trying to say. The alcohol in his veins was singing and for the first time tonight he noticed how Jeremy’s eyes stood out like blue wild flowers in a sea of orange. Jeremy stared at him for a few seconds longer before his eyes grew wide, blinking steadily.

“Wait, am I on her list?” Jeremy asked, and Kevin didn’t blame him for the hint of fear in his voice. Thea does that to people, it’s part of what makes her so attractive.

“No,” Kevin said with a scoff. He hoped Jeremy would put the pieces together. He was smart, he could figure this out while Kevin searched for his courage. Confusion flickered on Jeremy’s face, which was replaced by a blank look as he dipped his head closer, looking up at Kevin through his eyelashes.

“Am I on your list?” Jeremy’s voice would have been a whisper if they weren’t on the court, but here it reverberated off the walls and directly into Kevin’s bones.

“You’re at the top. Obviously.”

Jeremy looked like he was going to drop his racquet, but he didn’t. His jaw fell and he stood still, staring at Kevin like he was waiting for him to run. Kevin stared back like he didn’t just admit to one of the biggest secrets in his secret-filled life.

“Kevin, I didn’t even know you liked guys or ...” Jeremy trailed off, looking down at the court floor like it could finish his sentence for him.

“I don’t. Or at least I don’t think I do,” Kevin replied, quickly putting the bottle back to his lips in an attempt to fill his empty chest.

He thought about the amount of Raven men that slept together, taking their rage out on each other in the bedroom while their teammates looked the other way. But then his thoughts went to a more dangerous place, to when Riko would force other men into Jean’s bed. Riko never did that to Kevin, too obsessed to let anyone near his closest possession, but that didn’t make him feel any better.

One big swig of vodka later, and Kevin still didn’t understand himself any more than he did before. Jeremy hadn’t moved an inch when Kevin looked back down, but he looked less shell-shocked than he had seconds before.

“Well, I’m thrilled to be the exception,” Jeremy said in a low voice, taking a step toward him and reaching for the bottle in Kevin's white-knuckled hand. Kevin watched Jeremy shoes as he took two steps away to where he was standing before, leaving a few feet between them.

He looked back up in time to watch Jeremy’s Adam’s apple bob while he took a giant drink. Kevin licked the remaining vodka off his lips and continued.

“Anyone who knows anything about Exy would say the same thing. You’re very talented.” Jeremy coughed as the bottle left his lips, but he quickly recovered.

“I’m on your list because of how I play?”

Kevin was quiet for a whole minute. Jeremy didn’t push him for an answer, but waited with a searching look. Kevin was barely sure of himself, let alone what he was truly attracted to, but he fell for Thea on the court first and in person after. Jeremy was his favourite player in NCAA Exy, and while Kevin still didn’t have a good grasp on what a healthy relationship was, he felt a warm, glowing feeling in his chest when Jeremy was around. Jeremy was patient with Kevin’s arrogance and always knew what to say to lighten the mood, something he needed on a constant basis. When he smiled, Kevin almost couldn’t help but smile back: It was infectious and made Kevin forget about the past horrors long enough to enjoy himself and live in the moment. It occurred to Kevin that what started as just a strong admiration for a equal contender had, somewhere along the way, become an infatuation with Jeremy himself.

Bright, happy, honest Jeremy.

Kevin reached for the bottle in Jeremy's hands and finished it in one fell swoop.

“Among other things,” was the only response Kevin could muster before walking toward the court door. Jeremy didn’t move, and after Kevin put the bottle back in his gym bag, he turned back to Jeremy. “Let’s go, one on one.”

“Kevin-”

“I have nothing else to say.”

“Well I do,” Jeremy pushed back, holding out his racquet and putting it in Kevin’s way so he couldn’t walk past him. When Kevin looked down at him, Jeremy’s bottom lip was in between his teeth. The bright stadium lights made a halo around his blonde curls, and a drop of sweat dripped from his hairline and down the side of his face. Jeremy’s chest was moving with his deep breaths and there was a very slight shake in the arm holding up the racquet. Kevin didn’t turn his body to face Jeremy, but he stared into Jeremy’s eyes to stop himself from looking at the lip going white under the pressure of his teeth. “If you ever … I just- If you ever want to try-” Jeremy stopped himself with a sigh and let his racquet fall to his side. “I’m here if you need help, and I’ll do almost anything you ask me to.”

Kevin didn’t really know what he meant, but he’d rather play than think about the deeper meaning in Jeremy’s blurted confession. So he nodded and walked to the court wall to pick up a ball.

“First person to 10 points wins. No shooting on goal until you’re within five yards. Feel free to give up when I’m up by nine.” Jeremy huffed and shook off his hesitation to take a few steps away from half court.

“Don’t start crying when I destroy you on your own court,” was Jeremy’s only response and the corner of his mouth turned up as he readied himself with a defensive stance. Kevin spun his racquet a few times, fast enough that the ball stayed secure inside the netting, and then he took off to Jeremy’s left.

Kevin immediately wished he had kept his mouth shut about his attraction to Jeremy. Not because it wasn’t true, but because it and the alcohol had altered their game. Jeremy held his ground when he was defending the goal, but he was making a visible effort to not get right in Kevin’s face. At least for the first three goals.

Kevin's shot just barely missed, and Jeremy had an indescribable look on his face when he went to line up at half court. His effort on his first attempt made it seem like he was only practising at 60% the whole time, and he nearly knocked Kevin over on his way to his first goal. With a clever rebound off the ceiling, Jeremy made it past him again for his second goal. Kevin switched his racquet from his left hand to his right just to mess up Jeremy's plan, but it didn’t matter because Jeremy flew past him and evened the game up at three. Kevin begrudgingly switched back to his left hand and ran through more strategies in his head as Jeremy threw the ball up in the air and pushed on in search of his fourth goal. Kevin managed to knock the ball out of his net this time around, so he took the ball back to half court.

Just because Jeremy was bent over checking his shoelace, Kevin shot the ball at the goal, getting it as close to Jeremy’s shoulder as he could. It was a risky shot considering they weren’t wearing helmets, but Kevin would never, ever intentionally hit Jeremy. When the goal went red, Jeremy sent a playful glare Kevin's way.

“You said five yards from the goal.”

“I lied.”

“That does not count, you cheater,” Jeremy said as he picked up his racquet and got into his stance. “It’s still three all.”

“Fine, I don’t need it,” Kevin replied and twirled his racquet before setting off down the court.

They hit a stalemate at five goals each, but Kevin's pride wouldn’t let him slow down. He used some of the tricks Jeremy taught him and got himself up by two. Jeremy was not deterred, and used the Raven footwork he learned hours before to trip Kevin up and threw the ball at the goal slowly, taunting him with an easy goal. When Kevin got his arms illegally wrapped around Jeremy on his next attempt and got possession of the ball back, Jeremy stuck his tongue out at him when he walked past, and Kevin barked out a laugh. That was the fuel he needed to take this game into his own hands.

The goal lit up on Kevin’s 10th goal as he won their grudge match, so Jeremy surrendered to his fate and lied down on the court floor. His chest was heaving, but the exhausted smile on his face kept Kevin from checking his pulse. When he made it over to Jeremy’s spot on the floor, the fallen striker lopped his head to the side to look at Kevin.

“I may have lost, but I came within three points of beating the best striker in the world and I’m pretty proud of myself. And I did it without throwing up.”

“If you throw up on this court, I’ll leave you here to clean it up alone,” Kevin said. Jeremy huffed in his direction, but sat up. Kevin gave him a half smile, reaching his hand down to help Jeremy off the floor. He thought briefly about Johnson throwing Jeremy’s help back in his face at that championship game, but Jeremy accepted his hand and let Kevin pull him to his feet. Their tired, deep breaths were the only sounds on the court, but it was loud and distracting as the vodka played with his brain.

“Come on, we should start making our way back to Abby’s.” Jeremy picked his racquet off the floor and Kevin grabbed the ball from where it rolled to the corner of the court. Kevin shut the court door while Jeremy picked up the bag with their empty bottle, dug around for water and nearly finished an entire bottle on his way to the locker room.

Kevin shut all the stadium lights off, and when he turned back in the dim glow of the emergency lights, Jeremy was leaning with his back against the wall in the hallway to the locker room. A small bit of light was leaking in from the foyer behind him, casting a shadow across his body and the racquet propped against his shoulder. Jeremy made no attempt to move when Kevin got closer; he stood still, like his head and back were glued to the wall, and Kevin looked down at him from just a small reach away.

They stared at each other, breath slowly evening out, until Kevin dropped the bucket of balls on the floor. Jeremy jumped at the sound, but made no attempt to move away from the wall. Kevin lifted his free hand and stuck his fingers into the taut netting of Jeremy’s racquet. He didn’t pull it or move it, just kept his hand locked in.

“Can I take that for you?” Kevin’s voice was small, smaller than he expected it to be, but it still felt like he was yelling. Jeremy blinked up at him, eyes glassy from the alcohol, but did not let go of his racquet.

“That depends. What will you give me for it?” The smirk on Jeremy’s face, matched with the slight bend in his back so he could push his hips in Kevin’s direction until they were nearly touching, hit Kevin’s body like a train.

Kevin knew exactly what it was like to be hit on. You don’t become one of the best players in a co-ed sport without being hit on by both men and women. Christ, he has lived with Nicky for a year, and he’ll hit on any good-looking man with a pulse. But this, with the dim light of the foyer playing across Jeremy’s cheekbones and nose, with his body drenched in sweat and egged on by alcohol, with his confession to Jeremy still burning his tongue, this was the first time Kevin felt like throwing himself into the fire.

“Almost anything,” Kevin said, his hand tightening in the netting.

Jeremy gave him a slow smile, so Kevin leaned down and pressed their lips together. It was quick and it felt as mechanical as his first kiss with Thea all those years ago. Regardless, it left him feeling hot. When they parted, he felt Jeremy's heavy gaze on him.

“Was that okay?” Jeremy asked, backing his hips away from Kevin slightly, but keeping the rest of his body against the wall.

“I liked that,” Kevin said, letting his eyes close as he took a deep breath. When he opened them, Jeremy shined his bright, toothy grin and slowly removed the glove from his left hand. He kept his eyes on Kevin’s as his bare fingers reached up to cup his cheek.

“I used to have pictures of you in my locker, stuff from magazines and newspapers. My roommate made fun of me and bet me that I wouldn’t talk to you when I got the chance. He said I was obsessed with your green eyes.” Jeremy’s thumb made a soft swipe underneath Kevin's eye before he moved his hand to the opposite cheek, the backs of his fingers brushing over Kevin’s tattoo. “That’s the real reason I introduced myself to you at that semi-final game a few years ago.” Jeremy laughed at himself and let his hand slide down to rest on Kevin’s chest, holding still against his chest pads.

“Whatever the reason, I’m glad you did,” Kevin replied, and found the courage to place another light kiss on Jeremy’s lips. The short striker let out a sigh, and Kevin untangled his hand from Jeremy’s racquet so he could press his palm on the wall near Jeremy’s head and lean into his space. “My teammates make fun of my Trojans obsession all the time. They said I’d be happy if you beat us in the semis this year. They’re not wrong, you’ll always be the better team.”

“You do remember that you won the championship, right?”

“That doesn’t change the fact that our defense is severely lacking. We wouldn’t have made it to the fin-”

Jeremy’s fingers hooked into the neck of Kevin’s practice jersey and pulled him down into a searing kiss, effectively shutting him up. Their lips found a fast and hungry pace, and Jeremy had to go up onto his toes to keep his mouth against Kevin's. He felt as though his brain faltered, like he would forget to breathe and fall over, but then Jeremy took Kevin's bottom lip between his teeth as lightly as he could and Kevin was sure he had died. Jeremy pulled back after that, but he was smiling when he looked up at Kevin, blush visible even in the darkness.

“Can you just be happy for, like, two minutes?”

“I am happy,” Kevin replied, more about kissing Jeremy and less about Exy, “but there’s always room to get better.” He pushed against Jeremy’s hand on his chest so he could get closer. Jeremy’s smile always managed to dismantle something in Kevin and he didn’t really know what he was about to say until the words were already spilling out. “I’ve idolized you and your team for so long … And sometimes you were my only reason to smile while I was at Edgar Allen. I’ve tried so hard to get close to you, to know you, but I still don’t really know what I’m doing.”

“Kevin, I’ll take anything you’re willing to give me,” Jeremy replied, his hand reaching up to gently rub the back of Kevin’s neck. Kevin sighed and dropped his head to Jeremy’s shoulder, unabashedly taking in the smell of sweat and Jeremy. It made his body shiver, and he took his hand off the wall to push it into Jeremy’s hair. He would have been content to stay like that for hours, but they were on a deadline and the longer he stood with his body against Jeremy, the harder it would be to leave.

“Come on,” Kevin said, finding his voice, “we have to get you out of here.”

“Right, yeah.” Kevin painstakingly pulled himself away from Jeremy, and after grabbing Jeremy’s racquet, turned toward the foyer. Jeremy’s footsteps echoed behind him and he waited by the door of the gear closet as Kevin put back some of their equipment. When they got to the locker room, Kevin lowered the gym bag onto the bench and dug his shampoo and body wash out of his locker.

“Take these. Might as well get a good shower, water pressure is much better here than at Abby’s.” The corner of Jeremy’s mouth twitched upward, and Kevin got the chance to appreciate the deep red colour of his lips, the colour Kevin made them. Under the full light of the locker room, Kevin could see the blush threatening to take over Jeremy’s face and chest, dipping beneath the collar of his practice jersey.

“Okay,” Jeremy replied, pulling the bottles to his chest and holding them there with his arms. His bottom lip disappeared between his teeth again, like he knew exactly what that did to Kevin and was trying to destroy him. “Do you want to join me?”

The bubbling in Kevin's stomach had reached an all-time high. All the post-game interviews and friendly talks did nothing to prepare Kevin for Jeremy starring at him with his doe eyes in an empty locker room. If he was being honest with himself, Kevin had thought of something like this once, Jeremy pushing him up against a locker and kissing his way down his chest. He brushed that out of his mind and tried to concentrate on the present, but whatever blank emotion Kevin had made Jeremy’s face turn into something akin to confusion. Jeremy spoke again, but slowly, like he thought he was going to scare Kevin away again.

“I’ll never make you do something you don’t want to do.”

Somewhere in the part of his brain that was still functioning, Kevin knew that what Jeremy said was important. But all he could do was replay Thea’s last words to him before she left the Nest for good: _Get some more practice with the other girls so you’ll be ready for me when you graduate_. This was not the kind of thing she was talking about, but sexual boundaries really didn’t mean much in the Nest. However, she did explicitly say _girls_. Jeremy was not a girl, but he was stunning and brilliant and had been eating away at Kevin’s sexuality for nearly three years. Thea wouldn’t care, that’s the whole reason they had the discussion about the lists in the first place, _but would it be okay?_

Jeremy tried not to frown, giving Kevin the weakest smile he had ever seen before he turned around and headed toward the showers. Kevin watched him go, and waited until he heard the water come on and the stall door to close before making a move.

He started shedding his gear with his brain on autopilot, but his thoughts were lost and scattered. Kissing Jeremy was one thing and Kevin would like more, but what if it wasn’t the same after that? What if his only chance at a true, real friend was dashed as soon as his hands fumbled their way around Jeremy’s body like they did the first time he was with Thea. She wasn’t impressed, so Jeremy probably wouldn’t be either. But if this was the only chance Kevin was going to get at trying something with a man he trusted and respected and was attracted to, then wouldn’t it be worth it?

As soon he was stripped down to his briefs, he grabbed some towels and made his way to the showers, stopping just around the corner where he could see Jeremy’s feet beneath one of the stall doors. Kevin closed his eyes, replaying the feel of Jeremy’s lips on his and Jeremy's hands on his neck. It was only a few minutes ago, but Kevin craved it like a parched man desperate for water.

_You can do this. This is okay._

Kevin steadied himself before knocking on Jeremy’s stall. The door opened just enough for Jeremy to stick his head out, his blonde hair plastered to his forehead and the water dripping down his face changing the shape of the freckles that spotted his nose and cheeks.

In an act of pure wanting that Kevin didn’t know he was capable of, Jeremy let his eyes slide all the way down Kevin’s body and back up before he spoke.

“Did you bring me a towel?”

“I did,” Kevin said, looking down to his toes before looking back into Jeremy’s eyes. His heart was beating so fast he was sure Jeremy could hear it. “Can I come in?”

Kevin didn’t know he was holding his breath, but he let out a shattered, desperate gasp when Jeremy grinned at him. He swore that Jeremy’s smile could be mistaken for the sun.

“Of course,” he replied. Jeremy pushed the door open a few more inches and turned his back to Kevin to stand under the shower stream.

Kevin’s hands were shaking as he pulled down his briefs and stepped into the stall, which he normally would have attributed to the vodka, but by now nerves had eaten away at him and he felt raw with emotion and sober as a judge. He shut the door and turned back to Jeremy, who was still facing away from him, chin tucked into his chest so the hot water could run over his head and down his body. Kevin nearly choked on his own tongue when Jeremy rolled his shoulders back one by one, the muscles in his back rippling and sending a surge of electricity straight through Kevin’s entire body. His eyes followed the drops of water that flowed down Jeremy’s back, over the curve of his ass and down the expanse of his thick, tanned legs.

Jeremy was so strong and steady, but something about him made Kevin want to be soft. To be sweet. It was so different from what he was used to, but he didn’t mind.

Without thinking, Kevin took a step toward Jeremy. The mist of the shower hit his hair as he leaned down to place small kisses on Jeremy’s right shoulder, up his neck and to the curve of his jaw. Jeremy sighed and tilted his head to the side to give Kevin more access to his wet neck, one hand coming up to lace his fingers into Kevin’s hair.

Kevin kissed everything within his reach: the racing pulse on the side of Jeremy’s neck, the shell of his ear, his temple hidden beneath locks of wet hair. He would have kept going, but Jeremy’s fingers tightened in his hair and pulled his lips away.

Jeremy turned to face him, lightly grabbed the sides of his arms and moved him so Kevin was under the water. He waited until Kevin was soaked from head to toe, feeling as hot on the outside as he was on the inside, before he grabbed his arms again and pushed him until his back was flat against the side of the stall.

Jeremy cupped the sides of his neck and pulled him into a soft kiss, and he let his fingers run down Kevin’s chest and rest at his stomach. When he pulled away, he gave another slow glance down Kevin's body, shaking his head. Fear knotted in Kevin’s stomach and his body seized up.

“Did I do something wr-” Jeremy’s finger came to Kevin’s lips to stop him from talking and he smiled up at him.

“No, not at all. I just-” Jeremy’s lip was once again caught between his teeth. He pushed a stray piece of wet hair off Kevin’s forehead before letting his hands run down Kevin’s arms, briefly squeezing his biceps, and lacing his fingers with Kevin’s. This was the first time in Kevin’s adult life that he held hands with someone, and Jeremy’s calloused, Exy-worn fingers almost felt familiar. Kevin watched their hands, and when he looked up, Jeremy was staring back at him. “You’re just so beautiful.”

Kevin could have laughed, but he was too focused on Jeremy squeezing both of his hands.

“I’ve been called a lot of things, but beautiful was not one of them,” Kevin replied.

“Well, it’s true,” Jeremy said, releasing Kevin’s fingers to run his hands over Kevin’s abs. Kevin was almost disappointed when Jeremy’s hands continued lower because he didn’t want this to be over so soon, but Jeremy mapped out his hips instead. When Jeremy’s nails scraped up the front of his thighs, Kevin couldn’t contain himself any more and grabbed Jeremy’s face to pull him into a kiss.

One step forward and Kevin had Jeremy’s back pressed against the opposite wall and his tongue inside Jeremy’s mouth. With the steaming water at his back and the heat of Jeremy in front of him, the fire inside Kevin felt right at home. Kevin arms found their way around Jeremy so he could pull him closer. He knew that Jeremy would feel how hard he was pressed up against him like that, but he didn’t care. Jeremy’s hand had already found their way to Kevin’s ass to hold him tight against his body and a moan escaped his lips and echoed inside their shower stall.

The need for oxygen forced their mouths apart, but Kevin didn’t dare move his body away. He was greedy and he needed more. Running his hands down Jeremy’s back and over his ass, Kevin held on to his thick thighs and hauled him up, keeping Jeremy pinned to the wall and resting on his hips. Jeremy was quick to wrap his legs and arms around Kevin’s body, but nearly let go when Kevin’s mouth went back to his neck with near bruising force. Jeremy moaned again, and since he was wrapped around him, Kevin felt it more than he heard it. Kevin pulled away and nearly took one hand away off of Jeremy so he could touch himself.

“I like that, too,” Kevin said with a raspy voice, nuzzling his face into the crook of Jeremy’s neck.

“Like what?” Kevin’s self-resolve crumbled when he heard how deep Jeremy’s voice had become.

“When you make this noise,” and when Kevin reached between their bodies to wrap a hand around Jeremy’s dick, Jeremy let out a moan twice as loud as the last one. Kevin could only stay in this position for so long, but with Jeremy’s legs wrapped around him and his head on Kevin’s shoulder he was sure his body could hold out for another hour or two.

At least Kevin had some kind of idea of what he was doing this time around. With girls, everything was new and different and he knew he was doing something wrong before they said anything. Here with Jeremy, at least he knew what made him feel good and could attempt to recreate that. The unholy sounds coming out of Jeremy’s mouth were enough to tell him he was on the right track, but Kevin was happy when one of Jeremy’s hands moved to sit on top of his own.

“Slower,” Jeremy breathed into his ear, “like this.” Jeremy’s hand controlled the pace and the slow turning motion, and after a few seconds his breathing became hurried and the hand on Kevin’s neck squeezed hard. “Fuck, Kevin.”

Jeremy’s hand had stopped moving, but Kevin kept the tempo until Jeremy cried out his name and came on Kevin’s chest. Jeremy’s head fell back against the wall as he panted, but when he looked back at Kevin, his eyes were blown and he was smiling. Kevin couldn’t help himself and leaned in for another kiss. He put both hands back on Jeremy’s ass and lowered him back to his feet, keeping their mouths together until he was sure Jeremy had solid footing. When he broke away, Kevin put his forehead on Jeremy’s and closed his eyes.

This was when Kevin should say something, he was sure of it, but what was he supposed to say? That Jeremy was the beautiful one, not Kevin, who was full of fading scars? That he just needed another few hours and he could count all the freckles on Jeremy’s body? That Jeremy didn’t even need to touch him, Kevin could replay the images of Jeremy’s orgasm and he would be good? Instead, he kissed Jeremy’s forehead and stepped back under the stream of water.

It wasn’t until Jeremy pressed himself against his back and wrapped his arms around his stomach that Kevin realized he was still painfully hard. Jeremy still hadn’t touched him outright, but just being this close to him, naked and moaning, was enough.

Kevin also found shelter in the shower stall; there was no unwanted shadow to take away the excitement of Kevin’s sexual happiness, and that felt truly freeing. This was his first time being with someone without Riko’s prying eyes, and it meant more to him than anything else. When Jeremy let go, Kevin turned around to face him, running his hand through his wet hair.

“Was that good?” Kevin asked.

“Kevin,” Jeremy said, laying a few soft kisses on his chest, “that was so much more than good. You’re wonderful.” Jeremy lifted up on his toes to catch Kevin’s lips, a bright, small laugh falling on against his mouth. They stayed like that for a few minutes, kissing lazily and taking their time, but there was a darkness in Jeremy’s eyes when he broke away. “Can I touch you?”

The crack in Jeremy’s voice was barely audible over the sound of the shower. The fire inside Kevin didn’t care about the water, it was ready for him to burn from the inside out.

“Please.”

Jeremy didn’t move him against the wall this time, but the questioning gentleness he previously had was gone. His hands mapped out every inch of Kevin’s body he could get reach, feeling hotter than the scalding water running down the back of his body. Jeremy was kissing trails all over his pecs, and when his tongue flicked his nipple, Kevin’s hand shot out to hold on to the stall before he fell over.

“That’s the reaction I was hoping for,” Jeremy said with a cheeky grin before moving his mouth to the other nipple. Something like a growl left Kevin’s throat, but when he went to reply Jeremy pulled him into another kiss and explored the inside of his mouth with his tongue. Kevin decided he could kiss Jeremy for hours if he’d allow it, because his mouth tasted like sunshine. The way Jeremy sighed told Kevin he might allow it.

Jeremy’s hands worked their way down his back, and he broke their kiss once he gave Kevin’s ass a hard squeeze. He looked Kevin right in the eyes and licked his lips.

“I want to suck your dick,” he said, and it made Kevin’s jaw drop and his cock twitch. His mouth suddenly felt as too dry to speak, so he nodded as hard as he could. Jeremy smiled and took Kevin’s free hand and placed it in his hair. “You can hold on as tight as you want, and tell me if I do something you don’t like.”

Surely Kevin took a ball to the head, because that was more believable than the sight of Jeremy getting on his knees in front of him. But when one of Jeremy’s hands wrapped around him and his tongue teased the head of his cock, Kevin knew he could never imagine something that felt this good.

He gripped the edge of the stall so hard his knuckles went white. Kevin went through every expletive he knew in English, French and Japanese, and he couldn’t find a word to describe the feeling of Jeremy’s mouth around him. He knew he wouldn’t last long, letting out a shaky breath and closing his eyes. When he opened them, he looked down at one of the hottest things he had ever witnessed and softly carded his fingers through Jeremy’s curls when blue eyes met his.

“Jeremy,” Kevin said, his voice almost shaking as much as his knees. Jeremy seemed to take that as a challenge, and he took as much of Kevin in his mouth as he could. The hand in Jeremy’s hair tightened when he shouted out, but he truly lost it when Jeremy’s arms wrapped around Kevin thighs and his mouth started moving faster.

“Jeremy, I’m-” He tried to move, but Jeremy’s arms kept him locked in place and he came with a straggled cry. Kevin had to take his hand out of Jeremy’s hair so that he could grip both sides of the stall to hold himself up.

He hadn’t noticed how everything around him had faded until the sound of the water snapped him out of his blissful ignorance. It all came back slowly, from the orange paint of the locker room to the feeling of water on his back, to Jeremy’s hands softly petting his thighs from his place on the tiled floor. Jeremy got to his feet before Kevin found the words he was looking for, so he just wrapped his arms around the smaller man and pulled him against his chest.

Kevin let him go, but shuffled so they could both stand under the water and reached around him for the shampoo. Jeremy held out a hand, so Kevin squeezed some of the colourful liquid onto his palm and to his surprise, Jeremy reached up and started to rub it into Kevin’s hair.

“Help me out, big guy,” Jeremy said with a light chuckle, so Kevin bent his head down to give him better access. Jeremy’s fingers worked soft circles into his scalp, but it was over too soon and he started in on his own hair when Kevin stepped under the water.

Kevin decided to strike first with the body wash and rubbed soapy hands all over Jeremy’s skin. He took his time, trying to commit every muscle to memory so he could play it back later in vivid detail. When he was satisfied with his handy work, he leaned down to give Jeremy a quick kiss on the lips before letting him wash off.

As they shut the water off and Kevin grabbed their towels, he regretted doing this at the court. He had another two years at PSU, and he would never be able to take a shower again without thinking about Jeremy. _Then again, maybe that wasn’t such a bad thing._

They toweled off and got dressed in silence, but every time he caught Jeremy’s eye, he would smile. His hair was still fairly wet, so Kevin went into his locker and pulled out his Foxes hoodie.

“Here,” Kevin said, tossing it on the bench close to where Jeremy was sitting, “you can keep this one.”

“I’d love to,” Jeremy replied, throwing it on over his red USC T-shirt. There was blush spotting his cheeks when his head poked out of the top, and Kevin realized they had to talk about this now before things got out of control.

“I don’t want this,” Kevin said as he gestured between the two of them, “to change anything.”

“Well it obviously changes things,” Jeremy replied, getting off the bench to stand in front of Kevin. “But no matter what, you’re still my friend and my competitor. That will never change.”

Kevin let out a sigh at that, and Jeremy’s hand came to rest against his cheek. He rubbed at Kevin’s tattoo, but Jeremy's eyes were locked with his.

“And if you ever want to do anything like that again, or anything else, you have my number,” Jeremy added with a smile. His thumb moved to touch Kevin’s bottom lip. “One more for the road?”

“I’d like that,” Kevin said, so Jeremy leaned down to catch his lips from his spot on the bench. Kevin put everything he could into the kiss, his hands coming up to take Jeremy’s face. He sighed again, this time into Jeremy’s mouth, and wished they had more time. When Jeremy pulled away, Kevin stuck his finger in the neck of the orange sweatshirt and kept Jeremy from moving more than a few inches away. “Thank you.”

“Any time,” Jeremy said, throwing on his trademark smile and backing away.

They made it as far as the lounge before Wymack and Rhemann walked through the front door and offered them a ride back to Abby’s. In the back of Wymack’s truck, lit up only briefly by the street lights, Jeremy’s hand edged close to Kevin’s on the seat as he talked excitedly about their practice. When his pinky curled around Jeremy’s, Kevin looked out the back window at the passing trees and smiled.


	2. Interlude

**Jeremy Knox [3:03 p.m.]**

_We made it back to USC safe and sound!_

**Jeremy Knox [3:04 p.m.]**

_Thanks again for everything, and remember, don't be a stranger!!!_

**Kevin Day [3:48 p.m.]**

_I won't._


	3. Colorblind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Take this away from me, I'm tired of looking at it.
> 
> Half text, half real story.
> 
> Three things to take away from this:  
> 1\. I'm the worst  
> 2\. Kevin deserves to be happy  
> 3\. Jean REALLY deserves to be happy

**Jeremy Knox [10:03 a.m.]**

_He talked about Riko_

**Kevin Day [10:50 a.m.]**

_Why are you telling me this?_

**Jeremy Knox [10:52 a.m.]**

_Jean talked about Riko like he was alive_

**Jeremy Knox [10:52 a.m.]**

_as if nothing happened to him_

**Jeremy Knox [10:53 a.m.]**

_like it was all a joke_

**Kevin Day [11:01 a.m.]**

_Riko tortured him for years._

**Jeremy Knox [11:03 a.m.]**

_The team isn’t here yet, but if he does this in front of them, they might say something by accident_

**Kevin Day [11:24 a.m.]**

_He knows what happened. He just doesn’t want to believe it._

**Jeremy Knox [11:25 a.m.]**

_Are you the same way?_

**Jeremy Knox [12:04 p.m.]**

_Kevin?_

* * *

 

**Jeremy Knox [2:31 p.m.]**

(IMAGE SENT)

**Jeremy Knox [2:31 p.m.]**

_You never told me that Jean has a mean right hook_

**Kevin Day [2:58 p.m.]**

_Jesus Christ, Jeremy. What the fuck happened?_

**Jeremy Knox [3:02 p.m.]**

_He wasn't having a great day_

**Jeremy Knox [3:03 p.m.]**

_I was trying to help, but I just made him angry_

**Jeremy Knox [3:03 p.m.]**

_We let him leave practice. He wouldn't actually leave, but he sat on the sidelines and glared at me for the rest of practice_

**Kevin Day [3:17 p.m.]**

_He won't leave without someone else._

**Jeremy Knox [3:18 p.m.]**

_Laila spent the rest of the afternoon with him. If i'm being honest, I thought he'd hit me a lot sooner. He managed to go four weeks with yelling at me and not trying to swing for my head_

**Kevin Day [3:21 p.m.]**

_You knew this wasn't going to be easy._

**Jeremy Knox [3:22 p.m.]**

_I know_

* * *

 

**Jeremy Knox [9:43 a.m.]**

_Jean was showing us Raven drills. I caught on a little too quick and had to admit that you taught me some of them._

**Jeremy Knox [9:43 a.m.]**

_I think he took that as an excuse to go harder on me_

**Jeremy Knox [9:45 a.m.]**

_And to cuss me out in front of my own team_

**Kevin Day [10:08 a.m.]**

_Jean won’t tolerate a half-assed practice._

**Jeremy Knox [10:10 a.m.]**

_Yeah, we picked up on that pretty quick_

**Jeremy Knox [10:15 a.m.]**

_He has snapped four racquets and it’s only August_

* * *

 

**Jeremy [9:09 p.m.]**

_What does “sue merd” mean?_

**Kevin Day [9:32 p.m.]**

_Ha_

**Jeremy Knox [9:33 p.m.]**

_Did you just laugh over text?????!!!!!!_

**Jeremy Knox [9:33 p.m.]**

_This must be as offensive as I thought it was_

**Jeremy Knox [9:34 p.m.]**

_Enlighten me_

**Kevin Day [9:40 p.m.]**

_When did he call you this?_

**Jeremy Knox [9:41 p.m.]**

_During practice this morning_

**Kevin Day [9:44 p.m.]**

_It’s sous-merde. And it means that you’re a complete idiot, or literally “beneath shit”. As in calling you shit would be an insult to shit._

**Jeremy Knox [9:45 p.m.]**

_I knew I was getting through to him!!_

**Jeremy Knox [9:50 p.m.]**

_Have any French insults I can use against him?_

**Kevin Day [9:58 p.m.]**

_Not a chance_

* * *

 

**Jeremy Knox [11:43 a.m.]**

_What kind of food does Jean like? Do you know? Like, crepes and stuff?_

**Kevin Day [11:51 a.m.]**

_He's not a walking stereotype._

**Jeremy Knox [11:52 a.m.]**

_I don't know! Maybe he has comfort food? Something that reminds him of his family?_

**Jeremy Knox [11:53 a.m.]**

_I'll take anything at this point. Sandwiches? Pancakes? Protein bars?_

**Kevin Day [11:59 a.m.]**

_Why can't you just ask him?_

**Jeremy Knox [12:01 p.m.]**

_The team wants to throw him a little party. To make him feel more at home_

**Jeremy Knox [12:01 p.m.]**

_I don't know if it'll work, but I want to try._

**Jeremy Knox [12:02 p.m.]**

_And we did ask him. He’s not very talkative with us yet. Unless it’s during practice. And he’s yelling._

**Kevin Day [12:17 p.m.]**

_He talked about his grandmother's cooking once. Something with fish._

**Jeremy Knox [12:18 p.m.]**

_You're amazing. Thank you!_

**Kevin Day [12:21 p.m.]**

_I didn't do anything._

**Jeremy Knox [12:22 p.m.]**

_Do you know how many recipes there are for French food? At least this narrows down the search! You're a lifesaver!_

* * *

**Jeremy Knox [3:02 a.m.]**

_I'm worried about Jean_

**Kevin Day [3:04 a.m.]**

_Why?_

**Jeremy Knox [3:05 a.m.]**

_He keeps going to his room to "sleep", but everyone can hear him up and moving around at all hours of the night_

**Jeremy Knox [3:05 a.m.]**

_Does he hate the team? Is it me? Did I do something wrong?_

**Jeremy Knox [3:06 a.m.]**

_Maybe we tried too hard to get him to open up and now he's going backwards_

**Jeremy knox [3:06 a.m.]**

_Fuck, this is probably my fault_

**Kevin Day [3:06 a.m.]**

_Calm down. I'm sure it's fine._

**Jeremy Knox [3:07 a.m.]**

_It's obviously not fine!_

**Jeremy Knox [3:07 a.m.]**

_He basically avoiding us outside of practice! Even when he’s with us, he’s silent. Like completely silent unless absolutely necessary_

**Jeremy Knox [3:07 a.m.]**

_What am I supposed to do? I've tried everything I can think of_

**Jeremy Knox [3:07 a.m.]**

_I have no idea what he's going through_

**Kevin Day [3:10 a.m.]**

_Are you done?_

**Jeremy Knox [3:10 a.m.]**

_No_

**Kevin Day [3:11 a.m.]**

_Well you should be. Remember when I said Ravens were never alone? If he's looking to be alone but knows the team is just outside his door, that's good._

**Jeremy Knox [3:12 a.m.]**

_Right, okay._

**Jeremy Knox [3:12 a.m.]**

_I guess that's good._

**Jeremy Knox [3:13 a.m.]**

_Sorry for freaking out._

**Kevin Day [3:15 a.m.]**

_It's fine._

**Jeremy Knox [3:15 a.m.]**

_What if he's not getting enough sleep?_

**Kevin Day [3:17 a.m.]**

_I don't get enough sleep and I'm OK_

**Jeremy Knox [3:17 a.m.]**

_Pft_

**Kevin Day [3:19 a.m.]**

_What's that supposed to mean?_

**Jeremy Knox [3:20 a.m.]**

_Oh god, you're serious_

* * *

 

The senior girls volunteered their room for the team to watch USC’s first game of the season.

The whole team didn’t show up, but that was for the best. Kevin was still getting used to some of those new kids and the less time he spent with them off the court, the better. Neil came, which meant that Andrew would show up for at least five minutes for the sole purpose of watching Kevin’s reaction. Matt was there so he could be with Dan. Allison was also there, but she was drinking and painting her nails.

Kevin settled onto the couch and studied the lineups on his laptop during a commercial break. The couch dipped to his right, and Kevin looked up to see Renee take the spot beside him.

At least she wouldn’t talk during the game.

“Are you excited?” Renee asked.

“I’m always excited to watch the Trojans.”

“Are you excited to see Jean?”

The unease he’d felt in his stomach earlier that day returned. He was the one that set all this up. USC fans might not know it, but if it backfires, it’s his fault. If Jean has a meltdown on the court, it’s his fault. Kevin’s eyes narrowed until the play-by-play commentators interrupted his pessimistic train of thought.

“We all know how amazing USC is. But how will former Raven defender Jean Moreau fit in?”

Allison handed Kevin a drink because she knew exactly what was coming.

“According to the official lineup, Moreau’s new number is 29. We’ll have to wait and see what this member of the Perfect Court can bring to the Trojans. Surely he’s had a long off-season with his former teammate and Exy superstar Riko Moriyama taking his own life-“

Dan hit the mute button as fast as she could, but they started showing old Ravens clips of Riko and Jean talking on the court and Kevin finished his drink in one go. Thinking about Riko was one thing. Seeing the real Riko moving and talking and holding a racquet was nearly enough to send Kevin into a panic.

When Allison came to take his empty cup away, Kevin felt a soft nudge on his arm.

“That’s for us, you know,” Renee said. Kevin, confused, glared at her.

“What?”

“Jean’s new number,” she said with that ever-present smile on her face. “Two is for you, and nine is for me.”

All the guilt Kevin felt about believing Jean would have a meltdown on the court made the scar on his left hand itch, and he looked over to the muted TV before dragging his eyes back to Renee. She was still fucking smiling.

“That’s a lie.”

“I’m afraid it’s not,” she said before she took a sip of her tea. “He told me himself.”

Something about her connection with Jean always rattled Kevin. Maybe it was because he felt guilty for not being the one to get him out of the Nest. Maybe it was jealousy for not being able to talk to him any more. But he tried to be civil, because at least Jean was talking to someone.

The Trojans won and Jean had only two slipups all game. Basic communication problems -- Kevin had them whenever he started playing with a new team. It took a little longer to read their movements and get a good grasp on their playmaking, so he delayed a second or two before passes and sometimes it cost him. Little things that would be ironed out with more practise. But Jean has never experienced this before, and Kevin could tell it was getting to him by the time the final buzzer sounded.

A casual fan wouldn't have noticed his mistakes, the commentators didn't even notice, but Jean knew. If this was then - if they were them - he'd be punished after the game.

Kevin took out his phone and sat on his bed when he returned to his room.

**Kevin Day [1:23 a.m.]**

_Is it true? Is his new number for Walker and I?_

**Jeremy Knox [1:37 a.m.]**

_Of course it is_

**Kevin Day [1:43 a.m.]**

_Hm_

**Kevin Day [1:46 a.m.]**

_Congratulations. That was a good opener._

**Jeremy Knox [1:50 a.m.]**

_Thanks!! One of the freshmen told Jean he had a good game and he glared at him until they ran away..._

**Kevin Day [1:52 a.m.]**

_We were taught that a game isn't good unless it is flawless. Jean's response time was lagging tonight._

**Jeremy Knox [1:53 a.m.]**

_Jesus, well that explains it_

**Jeremy Knox [1:53 a.m.]**

_Also explains why he asked to practise when the stadium cleared out_

**Jeremy Knox [1:58 a.m.]**

_I told him we celebrate wins by going out for food as a team and he looked at me like I was insane. Told me he'd rather go to the gym and workout instead_

**Kevin Day [2:04 a.m.]**

_I don't think Jean knows how to celebrate._

**Jeremy Knox [2:05 a.m.]**

_Not yet_

* * *

 

**Kevin Day [4:02 a.m.]**

_Hey_

**Jeremy Knox [4:03 a.m.]**

_Hey!! What's up? You're up late_

**Kevin Day [4:03 a.m.]**

_At the bar_

**Kevin Day [4:04 a.m.]**

_Nicky and Aaron ar gone. Neil and Andrew are ducks knows where. and Im at the table alone_

**Jeremy Knox [4:05 a.m.]**

_Aww, and your first thought was to text me? I'm flattered Kevin!!!_

**Kevin Day [4:05 a.m.]**

_Thea has flight to DC tomrrow. She'll be mad if i wake hr up._

**Jeremy Knox [4:06 a.m.]**

_I see._

**Kevin Day [4:06 a.m.]**

_The fuck?_

**Jeremy Knox [4:08 a.m.]**

_You don't have to answer this. We should really talk about it when you're sober. But I have to ask._

**Jeremy Knox [4:08 a.m.]**

_Does Muldani know what happened between us?_

**Kevin Day [4:09 a.m.]**

_Yes_

**Jeremy Knox [4:10 a.m.]**

_And? How did she take it?_

**Kevin Day [4:10 a.m.]**

_Fine/ I gues. didn't really care_

**Jeremy Knox [4:11 a.m.]**

_She didn't care that her boyfriend hooked up with a dude?_

**Kevin Day [4:12 a.m.]**

_Raven ting_

**Jeremy Knox [4:12 a.m.]**

_?? What does that have to do with anything?_

**Kevin Day [4:13 a.m.]**

_Ravens slept with anyonee. release tension nd stuff_

**Jeremy Knox [4:17 a.m.]**

_Is that all that was to you?_

**Jeremy Knox [4:17 a.m.]**

_Because I know you're seeing someone, and that's fine as long as it’s ok with her, but I didn't just do all that to "release tension and stuff"_

**Kevin Day [4:20 a.m.]**

_I know_

* * *

 

**Kevin Day [01:16 a.m.]**

_What the fuck kind of selfish bullshit was that tonight? I can’t believe you let that striker come at you. You’re going to get fucking killed if you do that shit again. He was ready to take out your legs with his fucking racquet. Your entire career could have ended tonight._

**Jeremy Knox [01:34 a.m.]**

_It’s fine Kevin. I needed that guy to get off Jean’s back. We won and I got some ice packs_

**Kevin Day [01:35 a.m.]**

_It was fucking stupid._

**Jeremy Knox [01:35 a.m.]**

_That’s what Jean said. Told me he’d kick the shit out of me if I did that again_

**Kevin Day [01:35 a.m.]**

_Good._

**Jeremy Knox [01:36 a.m.]**

_Really, I’m okay. And I appreciate you checking up on me_

**Kevin Day [01:36 a.m.]**

_I’m not checking up on you, I’m yelling at you. Don’t do that shit again._

**Jeremy Knox [01:36 a.m.]**

_Can you always yell at me over text? It’s much easier to take_

**Kevin Day [01:37 a.m.]**

_Bite me._

**Jeremy Knox [01:37 a.m.]**

_Gladly_

* * *

**Jeremy Knox [09:47 a.m.]**

_Did you know that a 17-year-old designed the current American flag?_

**Kevin Day [09:52 a.m.]**

_I did._

**Kevin Day [09:55 a.m.]**

_Why are you telling me this?_

**Jeremy Knox [10:09 a.m.]**

_My prof just talked about it and I figured you’d like it, being a history buff and all_

**Kevin Day [10:13 a.m.]**

_Oh._

* * *

 

**Kevin Day [03:44 p.m.]**

_Are you free?_

**Jeremy Knox [03:52 p.m.]**

_I am, what’s up?_

**Kevin Day [03:54 p.m.]**

_I need a distraction._

**Jeremy Knox [03:56 p.m.]**

_What did you have in mind, hot stuff?_

**Kevin Day [03:58 p.m.]**

_Jeremy_

**Jeremy Knox [03:59 p.m.]**

_Ahahahaha I’m kidding, I’m kidding!_

**Jeremy Knox [03:59 p.m.]**

_Did you catch our game this weekend?_

**Kevin Day [04:01 p.m.]**

_You know I did._

* * *

**Jeremy Knox [08:23 p.m.]**

_Did you_

**Jeremy Knox [08:23 p.m.]**

_Just_

**Jeremy Knox [08:23 p.m.]**

_Fucking pass_

**Jeremy Knox [08:23 p.m.]**

_To that shithead first year?_

**Jeremy Knox [08:24 p.m.]**

_Kevin Day, you knew he couldn’t make it_

**Jeremy Knox [08:24 p.m.]**

_You knew it and you did it anyways_

**Jeremy Knox [08:24 p.m.]**

_Why?_

**Kevin Day [09:56 p.m.]**

_To prove a point._

**Jeremy Knox [09:59 p.m.]**

_What point could that possibly prove?_

**Kevin Day [10:04 p.m.]**

_That he’s shit, and maybe if he had showed up to practice this week he wouldn’t be such a waste of roster space._

**Jeremy Knox [10:05 p.m.]**

_Geez, tell me how you really feel_

**Kevin Day [10:08 p.m.]**

_He can sit on that for a week and see how it feels to let the whole team down. He talked a big game and couldn’t deliver. We’ll see if that motivates him to actually fucking try next time._

**Jeremy Knox [10:09 p.m.]**

_You’re kind of an asshole, you know that?_

**Kevin Day [10:10 p.m.]**

_So I’ve been told._

* * *

His history professor was in the middle of an hour-long lecture about the War of 1812. Kevin was not paying attention. Instead, he compiled notes for the final.

His phone vibrated in his pocket, but he ignored it — he could reply on his walk back to the dorms before practice.

It vibrated again and Kevin’s thinly veiled panic reared its ugly head. What if someone was hurt? Was it Neil? Was it a freshman?

Kevin reached for his phone and stared at the notification with a confused look.

**Jeremy Knox [12:14 p.m.]**

(IMAGE SENT)

**Jeremy Knox [12:15 p.m.]**

_He keeps pictures of you, so I thought I’d even the score ;) - Alvarez_

Kevin opened the photo and instantly dropped his phone on his desk. The noise made the girl to his left look over at him, but one glare in made her look back to the front of the class. Kevin took a deep breath, picked up his phone and brought it as close to his face as he could without going cross-eyed.

Shirtless. Jeremy is shirtless. And at the gym, clearly in the middle of a conversation while he sat on the leg press. The photo was hastily taken, Jeremy’s hand caught mid-wave and blurry, but it was good enough to catch the bright smile on his face and the redness on his neck and chest.

All Kevin had to do was close his eyes and he could see the same sweaty chest, but it was standing in the middle of the Foxes’ locker room and it’s owner was asking if he wanted to join him in the shower.

Kevin opened his eyes and looked at the photo a bit longer. Jeremy was wearing his USC shorts; Kevin would never get tired of seeing him in red. The person he was talking to had the same shorts, but he couldn’t tell if it was another Exy player from this angle. Jeremy was also wearing what looked like a headband of some sort, but stray curls had snuck past and were stuck to his forehead. Like when his hair is wet. When he’s in the shower. Specifically-

“Earth to Mr. Day!”

Kevin dropped his phone again, but this time it hit his open notebook so the sound was less offensive. His professor and most of the class were staring at him.

“Yes?”

“Were you paying attention?” she asked.

Kevin paused, put his phone back in his pocket and returned his hands to the top of his desk.

“No.”

His professor sighed, leaning back against her desk and folding her arms over her chest.

“We were just talking about the Treaty of Ghent. Would you be so kind as to tell us when it was signed?”

“Signed December 24th, 1814. Ratified by the British three days later,” Kevin replied easily.

She levelled Kevin with a tired look.

“I know you’re good, but that doesn’t mean you can just sit around on your phone while you’re here. This is still my time, so don’t waste it,” she said. Kevin would be ashamed, but the frown on her face turned into a smirk before she turned around to walk back to the whiteboard. Kevin continued to ignore the lesson and write notes for the final.

As the class ended, his phone began to vibrate. And vibrate. And vibrate. Kevin reached for it thinking he was being called, but instead saw frantic texts from Jeremy. He must have figured out that his teammate sent that photo, because he was using an obscene amount of capital letters.

**Jeremy Knox [01:11 p.m.]**

_UMMMMMMMMM_

**Jeremy Knox [01:11 p.m.]**

_WOW OK_

**Jeremy Knox [01:11 p.m.]**

_I'M GOING TO KILL HER_

**Jeremy Knox [01:12 p.m.]**

_I'M SO SORRY_

**Jeremy Knox [01:12 p.m.]**

_I'm locking my phone up forever_

**Jeremy Knox [01:14 p.m.]**

_Please just delete that photo_

**Jeremy Knox [01:14 p.m.]**

_And it's not as creepy as she made it sound_

**Jeremy Knox [01:14 p.m.]**

_I don't have weird photos of you_

**Jeremy Knox [01:15 p.m.]**

_omg this is a nightmare_

**Kevin Day [01:15 p.m.]**

_Jeremy, stop. You're going to break my phone._

**Kevin Day [1:21 p.m.]**

_And I liked the photo._

* * *

Kevin flew to California, a place he’d been with most of his teams, alone. Not for lack of trying on Neil’s part, but Andrew wanted nothing to do with a little vacation to the west coast. His response was something along the lines of _“Kevin doesn’t need a babysitter any more.”_ And so, with Wymack’s curious blessing, Kevin made his first trip solo at the tender age of 21.

Kevin was thankful he managed to have a panic attack in the bathroom at the airport instead of the bathroom on the airplane. His eyes were closed as he leaned against the stall door, and he ran through some of the techniques Dr. Dobson gave him for his anxiety. When Kevin got his breathing back under control, his phone was blinking with a new message.

**Jeremy Knox [11:42 a.m.]**

_Let me know when you land!! :)_

Kevin gave a fleeting smile to his phone and took one last deep breath before unlocking the stall door. He splashed some water on his face and went to find his gate. He’d be OK. He would be alone for a couple hours, and then he’d be in another state with Jeremy and Jean and the Trojans and not the Ravens.

Walking out of the airport doors in California was like walking into an oven. Kevin was glad he packed light, because he wouldn’t be able to wear much aside from shorts and T-shirts. His baseball cap was pulled down low, but he was still able to spot Jeremy and his tacky tank top. Kevin was five feet away before Jeremy looked up from his phone and smiled brighter than the mid-afternoon sun.

“Kevin!”

A six-hour flight was a long time to think about how this reunion should go. The idiotic part of his brain wanted to kiss Jeremy. What he did instead was nothing, just stopped in front of him and stood like a statue. That didn’t deter Jeremy, who quickly wrapped his arms around Kevin for a warm and comfortable hug.

“God, it’s good to see you. Let’s get out of here, I have a lot to do today and coach is going to kill me for taking an hour to come get you.”

Kevin’s only response was to blink harder than necessary. Jeremy slid into the driver’s seat of his truck before Kevin even moved. He found his legs and made his way to the passenger side.

It must have been the heat.

"Are you nervous about tonight?" Kevin asked while he put on his seatbelt.

"Are you kidding? Of course I am.”

“Don’t be,” Kevin said with a wave of his hand. “Your team is strong, there’s no way you won’t win tonight.”

“And I'll have a good luck charm in the stands,” Jeremy said with a grin on his face. Kevin rolled his eyes and started messing with the radio.

* * *

 

The game was sold out and the crowd was ready for the Trojans to be crowned national champions for the first time.

Kevin hoped to just blend in, but that wasn’t possible with all the cameras. He drove to the stadium with Jeremy and Jean, whose silence during the ride over was unnerving. Before Jeremy handed Kevin over to his parents for the friends and family booth, Kevin managed to lock eyes with Jean and say _bon courage_. Jean nodded his head before following Jeremy down to the locker room.

Jeremy’s parents were exactly the happy and proud people that Kevin thought they’d be. Jeremy’s mother told embarrassing stories about her son’s Kevin Day poster collection, to Kevin’s chagrin. Doubt started to eat away at Jeremy’s father in the line for the concession stand, but Kevin stamped that down with stats and unequivocal support of Jeremy and the Trojans.

Kevin even gave in to one reporter and did an interview with a popular sports network. Thankfully no one asked about Jean when Kevin said he was “here to support his friends.”

By the time he shook hands with most of the people sitting in his row, Kevin took a deep breath and looked out to the inner court. Most of the team was listening to Coach Rhemann, but Jeremy and Jean stood off to the side, huddled together in discussion. Jean kept nodding his head at whatever Jeremy said, and at the end Jeremy gave Jean’s shoulder a hard pat before joining the rest of the team.

When Jean looked up at the top of the stadium and twisted his racquet in his hands, Kevin knew he was ready.

And ready he was, along with the rest of the Trojans. They crushed Penn State and almost looked laidback for the last 10 minutes of the game. Kevin joined the crowd when they counted down the last minute of the game and watched red and gold streamers rain down from the rafters. No one had their arm broken on the court this year, so Kevin watched Jeremy lift the trophy and deliver it to his teammates. Kevin clapped the hardest when they gave the trophy to Jean; the stadium quieted down a bit, but the Trojans made up for it with roaring applause and plenty of hollering. Jean didn’t have a helmet to hide under, so one of the cameras picked up the smallest grin Kevin had ever seen.

Kevin waited for Jeremy and the rest of the players to get a ride back to the dorms. The team and some of their guests were going for drinks, but Kevin opted out. He explained to Jeremy on the way back that they would be exhausted in an hour, but once he was out of earshot of other Trojans, Kevin had another explanation.

"This is your time. It's Jean's time. Go have fun, and I'll stay here."

Jeremy looked about as ready to argue as he was exhausted, but the exhaustion won out and he left Kevin in his room when his teammate came to get him.

* * *

 

Kevin was a few chapters from the end of the book he found on Jeremy’s bookshelf when the door opened. He could hear people talking in the hallway, and Jeremy hung off the door frame to tell the freshman to stay out of trouble before pulling himself into the room and closing the door.

“Hi! Did you find my embarrassing photo album? Dig through my underwear drawer? Steal all my valuables?” Jeremy asked with a smile as he kicked his flip flops into the corner of the room. Kevin doesn’t think Jeremy has stopped smiling since the final buzzer.

“I don’t need your valuables.”

“Of course you don’t. You’ll probably have a Nike deal in two years, you jerk.”

“Have fun?” Kevin asked.

“I did! Freshmen went a little wild, I spent most of my night nursing my drink and keeping them in line. And watching Jean.”

“Drink? As in singular?”

“Well ... no. A couple. But you were right, we’re all exhausted. We’ll have a proper party tomorrow night. Right now I just want to sleep.”

Kevin only nodded and went back to his book, and the next time he looked up Jeremy was shirtless and hanging his jersey on the back of his desk chair. It had been so long since he’d seen Jeremy like this in person that he couldn’t look away. Jeremy ran his hands over the logo on his jersey and let out a happy sigh.

“I’m so proud of them. Everyone.” Jeremy looked over at Kevin and gave him a smile.

“You should be, you played very well tonight.”

Jeremy turned to go into the ensuite bathroom, but Kevin could have sworn he saw blush. He tried to go back to his book, but was more preoccupied with getting his breathing back to normal. Before long, Kevin was staring at a single word, but he couldn’t even concentrate on that.

“Are you okay? You look angry.” Kevin looked up at Jeremy as he came back into the room and his heartbeat doubled.

“I’m not angry.” Kevin closed his book a little harder than necessary when Jeremy started taking off his shorts, revealing stupidly tight red briefs. Jeremy startled, but let out what may have been a giggle.

“This is okay, right? I mean, you’ve seen me in less-“

“Yeah, I know.” This time Jeremy giggled for real, and put the shorts in his laundry basket.  He grabbed the cup off his desk and went to the bathroom to fill it.

“As long as you didn’t forget,” he said from the other room before the water cut on.

“Never.”

Jeremy brought the water to the bedside table beside Kevin and stood in front of him with his hands on his hips. All the sudden, the wall behind Jeremy looked really interesting.

“We’re gonna have to squish in tonight, but it’ll be okay, right?” Jeremy moved his head into Kevin’s field of vision and gave him a small smile.

“Yeah, sure.”

“Cool, ‘cause I’m about ready to pass out.”

Kevin shot off the bed and into the bathroom before he could say another moronic comment. After brushing his teeth, he spent a good minute or so staring at his own reflection and practising his breathing. That seemed to be a theme of this trip to California: trying to relax.

When he came back into the bedroom, the only light on was the small bedside lamp and Jeremy was sitting on the side of the bed, typing away on his phone. Now that Kevin had been on the receiving end of Jeremy’s text for the better part of a year, he could only assume Jeremy was always talking to about five different people at once, each person getting nine texts a minute. He put his things back in his bag and waited for Jeremy to say something.

“Sorry! Everyone wants to talk to me tonight,” Jeremy said with a laugh. He cleared his throat and looked at Kevin with a serious face. “I didn’t know if you preferred a side ...”

“I don’t care.”

“Are you sleeping in your shorts?”

“Why would I do that?”

“I don’t know, you’re just standing there fully clothed like you’re waiting. I feel like I’m missing something.” Cheeky fucker.

“You’re drunk.”

“I am not. I’m tipsy and confused.”

Kevin huffed out his breath, but turned back to his bag and took his shirt off. He folded it up and put it back in his bag, and as he started pulling his shorts down he heard Jeremy whistle. Kevin glared at him over his shoulder.

“What?”

“Look, when a good-looking man starts taking off his clothes in my bedroom, it’s a crime not to appreciate it.” Jeremy barely got that sentence out before he was laughing into his pillow. Kevin rolled his eyes and zipped up his bag. When he turned back to the bed and Jeremy had his head propped up on his fist, his eyes looking up and down Kevin’s body. “Still beautiful,” Jeremy said softly.

Kevin’s words were stuck in his throat, so he waved his hand to get Jeremy to move over. He shuffled until his back was against the wall and Kevin climbed onto the bed. He was stiff as a board, watching Jeremy stare at him from the corner of his eye until he leaned over Kevin’s chest to turn the light off.

When their skin touched, all the uneasy feelings and anxiety Kevin felt that day vanished. When the light went out, he reached out and wrapped his hand around Jeremy’s bicep to hold him in place. Their eyes met, but Kevin still couldn’t get any words out. Jeremy seemed to understand, laying his hand on Kevin’s chest.

Kevin broke eye contact first, admiring the way the glow of the street lights outside Jeremy’s dorm window danced over the room. The crooked yellow lines that snuck in between his blinds made his hair look even lighter and accentuated the way his chest moved when he took a breath. One particular line of light went from Jeremy’s ear, over the ridge of his cheekbone and onto his lips before disappearing off the other side of his face. This line was created to destroy Kevin.

“You have that look again,” Jeremy whispered, like he didn’t want to disturb Kevin. “Do you always look this serious when you’re concentrating?”

Kevin didn’t reply, instead cupping the side of Jeremy’s face in his hand. His thumb followed the troublesome ray of light over his cheek until the pad softly rubbed against Jeremy’s lips. They parted when he let out a shaky sigh — it broke Kevin’s concentration and when he looked back at Jeremy’s eyes, he found them wanting.

“Please,” Jeremy said.

“Please what?” Kevin knew what he was asking, but he could feel his heart trying to claw its way out of his chest and he needed Jeremy to say it out loud.

“Kiss me. Please, god, kiss me.”

He pulled Jeremy’s face down to his and they met in a kiss. His lips were warm like the rest of him, and he was so so soft. Jeremy made to pull away, but Kevin lifted up to steal another kiss. He hadn’t had his fill yet. He might never. After that Kevin let him go and he was glad he did. That curious line of light took on an entirely new shape when Jeremy had a crooked smile on his face.

With a happy sigh, Jeremy laid down on the bed, and Kevin turned onto his side so they could look at each other. Jeremy lifted his hand and used a finger to lightly draw a languid, curling line down the side of Kevin’s neck and onto his arm. Long figure eights danced from his shoulder to his elbow, and Kevin closed his eyes. He could fall asleep like this.

His eyes opened when the finger made its way to his forearm. It landed on Kevin’s hand, smoothing over the bumps of his scar. He was going to say something, but Jeremy picked up his hand and kissed the scar as gently as he could. He put Kevin’s hand back down, but kept their fingers gently wrapped together.

“This is the perfect end to a great day,” Jeremy said.

“A great day for a NCAA champion,” Kevin replied, just barely squeezing Jeremy’s fingers.

“You know what would make it better?” Jeremy couldn’t even finish the question without yawning, and Kevin raised his eyebrows.

“Sleep?”

“You got it, big guy,” Jeremy said, adjusting his head on the pillow and closing his eyes. Kevin watched him for a couple of seconds before turning over and getting as comfortable as he could.

He was replaying their kiss in his mind when he felt Jeremy tap his shoulder.

“Wait.”

Kevin twisted around to look at Jeremy, and before he could even say anything he was being kissed again.

“One more,” Jeremy said with a sleepy voice and a smile before curling back into his spot.

“Really?”

“I’m a champion. I do what I want.”

Kevin let out a small laugh and turned back around. Jeremy was out cold in less than a minute.

* * *

The room was bright and the sun was hot. The air conditioning had kicked on at some point, and Kevin had kicked his half of the thin cotton sheet to the bottom of the bed.

Jeremy was on his back, one arm above his head and the other draped over his bare chest. His legs were tangled in the sheet, but the leg closest to Kevin’s side of the bed was nearly touching him.

Kevin turned on his side so he could look at Jeremy. This was the first time he’d been able to look at Jeremy like this: quiet, peaceful and for Kevin’s eyes only. There were so many things that he never noticed before, like how long Jeremy’s eyelashes were, the same shade of blonde as his hair. Or how he had clusters of freckles on his elbows and hands as well as his face. Or how his curls actually looked like waves. Kevin wanted to reach out and use his fingers to comb the unruly strands of hair off his forehead, but fear of waking him up kept him still. Kevin was admiring what appeared to be an old, faded scar on Jeremy’s forearm when his sleep-addled voice interrupted Kevin’s day dreaming.

“Watching people while they sleep is kinda weird,” Jeremy said slowly, bringing his arm down from above his head to rub the sleep out of his eyes.

“Doesn’t matter if you were awake the whole time,” Kevin replied, turning onto his back with just a touch of embarrassment. That didn’t last long, because Jeremy lifted up Kevin’s right arm and curled up against his side. Kevin brought his arm down and wrapped it around Jeremy’s shoulder, but couldn’t fight himself any longer and ran his fingers through Jeremy’s hair. Jeremy rubbed against his chest like some kind of cat, wrapping an arm around Kevin’s stomach and twisting their legs together.

“What’s this?” Kevin asked.

“I’m very affectionate in the morning,” Jeremy said. “And you’re big and warm.”

“Okay.” Between the solid weight of Jeremy on his chest and the softness of his hair, Kevin figured the best answers are short ones. Or else he’ll say something stupid.

“Did you sleep well?”

“Yes.”

“Good,” Jeremy said, his voice finally starting to wake up like the rest of him. Although Kevin wouldn’t mind if Jeremy fell back asleep like this.

“What about you?”

“Slept like a baby!” Jeremy tilted his head up so he could look at Kevin. His eyes were so blue that Kevin had a hard time looking directly at them. “I woke up as the captain of a championship team and with my favourite Exy player in my bed. I couldn’t ask for more.”

Kevin stopped running his fingers through Jeremy’s hair and raised his eyebrow. “Really?”

“Well, I could ask for a _little_ bit more,” Jeremy said as he shuffled up Kevin’s body with a smirk on his face.

“You’re awfully cocky for eight in the morning, Knox.”

“Affectionate. I’m affectionate.” Jeremy put feather-light kisses along Kevin’s jaw and the side of his neck and Kevin hummed in approval. Suddenly, Jeremy was on his hands and knees, kicking off the sheet and lifting his leg to straddle Kevin’s waist. Kevin let his hands hovered in the air, not knowing where he should put them with all of Jeremy in his lap. “Is this okay? Because if not-“

Kevin silenced Jeremy when he finally moved and put his hands on Jeremy’s thighs, rubbing his thumbs on the hem of his briefs. The full-body blush Kevin had come to admire was back. It looked even better when Jeremy hair was sticking up every which way. Or maybe it just looked even better when he was sitting on top of Kevin.

“This is good,” Kevin said, moving his hands down and back up Jeremy’s thighs, and this time his fingers dipped under the edge of his briefs as Jeremy leaned down to kiss him.

Jeremy is undeniably gorgeous; all you need is a working set of eyes and a functioning brain. There were many great things about Jeremy - physically - that Kevin enjoyed; the firm muscle of his arms, his bright smile, legs that go on for miles even when they’re covered up in padding and hidden under his uniform.

But his thighs, _dear god_ his thighs. Kevin could write essays about how erratic his breathing becomes when the TV cameras follow Jeremy down the court and the clips are played back in slow motion.

At first, he thought it was just the fact that he was playing, his movement making the edge of his shorts ride up to reveal parts of his legs untouched by the sun. And then Jeremy and the Trojans did a group interview on an late-night TV show in the fall and Kevin realized how wrong he had been. It wasn’t the court or the running or the shorts. Fuck the shorts, they had nothing to do with it. Kevin wanted to watch the clip to gauge Jean’s reaction in his first public appearance in Trojan red, and he did, but he started the video over again and watched when the camera panned over to Jeremy.

The show had stools for some players, Jeremy in the middle, and the rest of the team stood behind them. The material of Jeremy’s slacks pooled at his upper thigh and had just enough of a shine to it that Kevin couldn’t help but stare when it was caught in the bright studio lights. At one point, the camera stayed on Jeremy as he shifted in his seat while answering a question and Kevin was forced to pause the video. He distinctly remembered nearly throwing his laptop on the floor when Nicky burst into their dorm room without warning after he’d been staring at the paused video for Christ knows how long.

So now, with his hands running over Jeremy’s thighs and giving them a squeeze here and there, Kevin couldn’t help it when the smile on his face got in the way of Jeremy’s very insistent lips and forced them both to come back up for air.

“God, you’re so cute when you smile,” Jeremy said, leaning down to kiss the tip of Kevin’s nose. Kevin huffed and rolled his eyes, but brought his arms up and hugged Jeremy to his body. “You’re even cute when you’re angry.”

“Which is often.”

“Yes, which is often,” Jeremy said with a laugh, pressing more tiny kisses all over Kevin’s face with no sign of stopping. “You’re cute when you’re playing. Cute when you do interviews. Cute when you fly across the country to come to one of my games. Cute when you’re sleeping in my bed.” Jeremy pulled back so he could meet Kevin’s eyes, blush reaching the tips of his ears. “You’re especially cute when you kiss me.”

“Well then I won’t be doing that ever again,” Kevin says with the straightest face his could muster, and as soon as Jeremy started pouting, he lifted up to connect their lips.

He missed this, kissing Jeremy and holding him tight, like he’s the only thing Kevin needs to focus on. His hands ran down Jeremy’s sides, fingers digging into his hips when Jeremy’s tongue pushed into his mouth. Kevin’s hands fell down to Jeremy’s ass and he moaned into his mouth.

Kevin’s hips moved at that. He’s been thinking about the sound of that moan for months. Jeremy pulled back as he pushed his fingers into Kevin’s hair.

“Can we try something?” Jeremy asked, sounding out of breath.

“What did you have in mind?” Kevin asked back, giving Jeremy’s ass cheeks a firm squeeze. Then it was his turn to moan as Jeremy picked himself off Kevin’s waist, moved down a few inches and rubbed himself against Kevin. “Oh.”

“Is that something you’d be interested in?” Jeremy didn’t get an answer. Instead, Kevin wrapped his arms around Jeremy and rolled them over.  “Oh ho,” he said with a laugh as Kevin held himself over top of Jeremy and placed kisses on his collarbone. When Jeremy lightly wrapped his legs around his centre, Kevin playfully bite his shoulder while he rolled his hips down.

They were both hard now, Kevin’s briefs straining every time they touched and making him anxious. Bracing himself on one arm, Kevin bent down and took Jeremy’s nipple into his mouth and was very pleased with the sound it earned him. Just for fun, he bit down and lightly pulled, and Jeremy’s back arched until he nearly lifted off the bed. When he lay back down, his hands gripped the sides of Kevin’s head and pulled their faces close for a rushed, hard kiss.

“If you keep doing that, I’m going to lose it,” Jeremy said when they broke apart, one hand running down his chest and taking hold of the elastic on the front of Kevin’s briefs.

“Isn’t that the point?”

“It is, but I just-“ Jeremy worried his bottom lip between his teeth and palmed Kevin’s dick through his underwear. Kevin’s head fell to rest on Jeremy’s shoulder with a groan and he ground himself against the hand. “Kevin, I need this now.”

“What do you want me to do?”

“Strip,” Jeremy said, and he followed Kevin when he got off the bed. They stepped out of their briefs and when Jeremy bent over to open the drawer of his bedside table, Kevin slowly ran his hand down Jeremy’s spine. Something like a purr fell from Jeremy’s lips and he crawled back onto the bed and fell on his back. His smile looked almost frantic, and his dick was leaking onto his stomach. He threw a small bottle of lube beside him and grabbed Kevin’s hand to pull him back onto the bed.

“Like we were before,” Jeremy said, wrapping one of his arms around Kevin’s neck when he settled over top of him. Kevin moaned when their dicks touched.

“I’m not going to last long,” Kevin said into the side of Jeremy’s neck.

“Me neither, babe,” Jeremy said. Kevin pulled away when he heard a cap open, and Jeremy poured some lube onto his hand. “Ready?”

Kevin nodded, and Jeremy brought both their dicks together in one wet, slick hand. They both moaned and Jeremy put his legs back around Kevin’s waist and squeezed as he stroked them both.

“Jeremy,” Kevin said against a pool of freckles on his shoulder. “Jesus Christ.”

“You know what I love?” Jeremy asked as he picked up the pace. He pulled Kevin’s face toward him with his free hand for a kiss. Kevin whimpered and thrust into Jeremy’s hand.

“What?” he whispered into Jeremy’s mouth, needing both arms to hold himself up and adjusting his weight from one side to the other. Jeremy pulled Kevin’s head back onto his shoulder.

“I love it when you say my name,” Jeremy whispered in Kevin’s ear, taking his ear lobe between his teeth. He twisted his hand in the most amazing way, their heads rubbing together and Kevin knows he only has seconds left. “I love it when you say it when we’re like this.”

Kevin could only pant into Jeremy’s neck and fuck into his hand. All he can see, hear, smell and feel was Jeremy. He gripped Jeremy’s hip, and the next time Jeremy moaned, he was finished. He came all over Jeremy’s stomach, and slowed his thrusts into his hand before he pulled back. If he hadn’t already, the sight of Jeremy, hard and covered in his come, would be enough to get Kevin off.

Jeremy took his hand off their dicks and swiped at the come on his stomach with one finger. He looked up at Kevin, stuck out his tongue and licked the come off his finger, all without breaking eye contact.

“Fuck,” Kevin grunted, waiting until Jeremy moved his hand to give him a fierce kiss. He licked into Jeremy’s mouth and wrapped his free hand around Jeremy’s dick. “You’re fucking unbelievable,” Kevin said, moving his hand painfully slow. His hand skimmed his own over-sensitive dick and Kevin let out a hiss.

“Come on, I’m so close,” Jeremy begged while he dug his fingers into Kevin’s shoulders and pulled their faces together, lips barely touching. Kevin picked up speed until Jeremy lifted his hips in time with Kevin’s movements.

“Do it,” Kevin whispered. He kissed him before moving his lips to Jeremy’s ear. “Come for me, Jeremy.”

Kevin swallowed Jeremy’s moan when he came, back arched and fingers pulling at Kevin’s hair. Kevin fell on the bed beside him, arms aching from holding up his weight. They both breathed heavily for a couple seconds, before Jeremy turned his head to look at Kevin and laughed.

“I’m unbelievable? Me?! Because that, that was- that,” Jeremy threw his arms over his head and his body shook with laughter.

“You called me babe,” Kevin said with a small smile. “I … didn’t hate it as much as I thought I would.”

“Wow, you really have a way with words,” Jeremy said sarcastically, reaching onto the bedside table to grab some tissues.

“Did you want to go back a couple minutes and say that again?” Kevin asked, his eyebrow raised and a smirk on his face. “Because I’m pretty sure-“

“Yeah, yeah. Shut up.” Jeremy leaned over to kiss him, and Kevin decides that he doesn’t mind being shut up like this. It’s lazy kissing, and Kevin almost climbs back on top of Jeremy so it doesn’t have to end. Jeremy ran his fingers down Kevin’s back which was damp with sweat. "I don't know if I've used this on you before, but do you want to shower with me?"

Kevin looked over at the bathroom door. When he looked back, Jeremy was watching him very closely.

"This has been great, but ... do you mind-"

"Not at all, man!" Jeremy waved Kevin off and picked up his phone. "Take all the time you want, you can use any of the stuff in the shower. There's a towel for you on the back of the door." Kevin gathered what he needed from his bag and looked back at Jeremy before he shut the bathroom door only to find him looking right back with a relaxed smile on his face.

* * *

There's not enough cold water in the world for Kevin, but his 10-minute shower was exactly what he needed. And Jeremy's shampoo smelled like pine needles.

Kevin heard the sound of a phone vibrating in the main room as he got dressed and wasn’t surprised when Jeremy’s voice broke the comfortable silence in the dorm room.

"Hey Coach Wymack!" Kevin hadn't put on his pants yet, but he ripped open the bathroom door, clad in his t-shirt and briefs.

"What?" Kevin asked. Jeremy completely ignored his question, winked at him and started getting out of bed.

"Oh yeah, we're good here. I just saw that you were calling right back and wanted to tell you that Kevin was in the shower. But you're in luck! He just got back!" A very naked Jeremy stood in front of him, one hand holding Kevin's phone against his ear and the other running down Kevin's bare arm.

"Why is he calling in the first place?" Kevin asked. He used his finger to move the curls sitting in front of Jeremy’s eyes.

"Thank you! It really was a great game. I don't think I've seen the team play as hard as they did last night." Of course Wymack would talk about the game. "Well, here he is."

Jeremy lifted Kevin's phone up and held it out for him to take. Kevin was skeptical of this call, but he took the phone and put it to his ear. Jeremy used this distraction to sneak into the bathroom and keep Kevin from putting his pants on any time soon.

"Hello?"

"Hey. How's it going?"

"What is this about?" Kevin asked with a sour tone.

"Just had a question for you." Wymack said, and started into a diatribe about some of the recruits they were looking at before Kevin left for California. By the time he's finished the call and Kevin has argued his case for the dealer in Minnesota, not Maryland, he sees that Jeremy put his shorts out on the desk chair so he could finished getting ready and the water was no longer running. When Jeremy came out in a towel, Kevin was sitting on the bed he had just made.

"So why did he call?"

"He said he had a question about a recruit, but I think he just wanted to see what I was doing," Kevin said with a scowl.

"Oh, come on."

"What? It's overkill."

"It's nice," Jeremy said, giving him a look before turning around to dig through his closet. "He wants to see if you're OK and how your trip is going." Kevin looked down at the phone in his hands. It still had a notification from Wymack's first missed call. "It's annoying, but it means he cares. My parents do that all the time."

Jeremy gave him a rundown of the events for the day like an itinerary while he got dressed. First, lunch with the team, then they'd grab some food before the team party started later that night in the dorms and finished in a club. Jeremy just put his wallet in his back pocket when his phone started to ring.

"Told you," Jeremy said to Kevin before he answered the call. "Hey mom."

Jeremy was searching for his shoes and carrying on a quick conversation about times and flights. When he pulled on black running shoes, he paused to look up and met Kevin's eyes.

"Sure, we can do dinner with you guys. How about 5?" Kevin squinted in his direction, but Jeremy smiled back before standing and grabbing his keys off his desk. "You got it, just let me know when you guys are out front and we'll come down." Kevin stared at Jeremy dumbfounded the entire time.

"We? We can do dinner?"

"My parents want to see me before they fly home, but they know you're spending the weekend with me and they invited you to come along. Super casual burger place, and they have the best fries in the world."

“It’s rude to make plans without asking the people involved,” Kevin all but sneered in his direction.

Jeremy walked up to Kevin and got on his toes to kiss Kevin's cheek. "Please?"

Like Kevin can say no to him. Why even bother asking?

"Sure," Kevin said, and this time Jeremy kissed him on the lips.

* * *

After a slew of dorm-room drinking violations, the Trojans, their friends and plus ones piled into taxis to go to a bar downtown. Kevin tried not to draw a lot of attention to himself, but there’s only so much he could do when most every Exy fan in the nation knows he was at yesterday’s game. Jean hasn’t met his stare more than once tonight, but he seemed to be preoccupied with trying to enjoy celebrations with his team. Jean looked happier than Kevin has ever seen him.

Kevin stuffed himself in the back of a cab with Jeremy and two sophomore players, and found his gaze held by the small amount of skyline he could see through the back window. The sun had set about an hour ago, and where there was once hues of pink and orange there was now muted yellow from the office buildings and skyscrapers that towered over the city. Kevin enjoyed the soft green of South Carolina, but this busy view was something he could get used to. The heat, on the other hand-

“You really do,” Jeremy whispered while the other two broke down some of the plays from last night’s game. “You do look that serious when you’re concentrating.”

“And?” Kevin shot back.

“And I’m never not going to think it’s incredibly hot,” Jeremy said into Kevin’s ear with a silky voice. Jeremy gave Kevin a light jab in the side with his elbow and a toothy grin before he threw himself back into the conversation between his teammates when the woman brought up Jean’s yellow card. Kevin looked back out the window, but he didn’t miss the way Jeremy leaned more of his weight on Kevin than absolutely necessary for a squished back-seat ride.

The bar they arrived at was nothing like Eden’s. A lot less black clothing, a lot more flip flops. But, to Kevin’s surprise and pleasure, it was just as dark inside. The Trojans and all their friends had a massive table tucked away in the back, already stocked full of bottles and food. Most of the team members he knew by name and face were already seated at the table, pouring shots into every available glass.

“Were you planning on sharing, or are all those drinks for you?”

“Captainnnnn!” Alvarez jumped up from her spot beside Dermott, two shots in her hand. “And our number one fan! You both deserve a shot!”

Kevin doesn’t have time to decline before she shoved the shot glass in his face and told him to drink up. He looked at Jeremy to see how he should respond, but his head was already tipped back, adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed his shot down. Kevin looked over to Jean, who appeared to be drinking water and was talking to one of the senior members of the team. Kevin took the shot and put the empty glass back on the table to be refilled.

“Don’t get this guy going, he’ll drink you under the table,” Jeremy said, putting his shot glass down beside Kevin’s. “Speaking of drinking, we need to keep the freshman as sober as possible. I don’t want everyone kicked out for underage drinking.”

“Jeremyyyy,” some freshman whined from the other side of the table as Jeremy took another shot.

“Nope, no way. We let you pre drink and you can probably sneak one drink in here. You’re lucky they even let you in here in the first place. If I catch you going overboard, I’ll call your parents.” Jeremy turned his head to look at someone else farther down the table. “Got it, Graham?”

“Okay, you don’t need to single me out. That was unnecessary-“

“Remember Halloween?” The kid put his hands in his lap and doesn’t say another word. “That’s what I thought. Take it easy and enjoy yourself tonight. Let the adults get drunk and let loose.”

Captain Jeremy was a sight to behold. He reminded Kevin a little bit of Dan. He could only guess that Jeremy’s tolerance for bullshit was just a little higher than Dan’s, or else he wouldn’t be here right now.

Everyone found a spot around the table, with Kevin trying to put as much distance between him and Jean as possible, and it was like Eden’s except there was a lot more talking. He felt left out sometimes, but every once in a while someone directed an Exy question at him and he happily replied.

Jeremy got him drinks all night, or poured shots for him from the near-empty bottle on the table. Once the crowd picked up, people started leaving the table to dance. Jean looked like he’d bite off the arm of his teammate when she pulled him to the dance floor, but Jeremy smiled in his direction and Jean rolled his eyes and stopped fighting it. Looked like he was trying to play nice. Guess the Trojans were used to that by now.

“He’s doing well,” Jeremy said while he used his straw to stir the drink in front of him.

“Hmm,” Kevin hummed in reply, finishing the rest of his vodka soda. It was easy to keep an eye on Jean from here as he towered over most of the crowd. “He’s not drinking tonight?”

“He doesn’t drink ever.”

“Oh?” Kevin had no idea.

“Some people have different ways of coping. Alcohol does not seem to help Jean, so he’s been avoiding it since the start of second semester. We’ve got two other non-drinkers on the team who’ve been helping him out.”

Kevin looked back out at Jean, just in time to see him nearly smile at his teammate. Kevin poured himself another shot.

“You don’t have a problem with alcohol, though,” Jeremy said. If anyone else had said it, Kevin would rip them apart, but he knew Jeremy doesn’t say it from a place of judgement. It was just an observation, and mixed with Aaron’s comments when Jeremy came to South Carolina, it’s doesn’t take much to connect the dots.

“It’s the only way I could be within a 10-foot radius of Riko after I left,” Kevin said, quickly pounding another shot back.

“Do I make you want to drink?” Jeremy turned to meet his eyes, his lips beginning to pull down into a frown.

“No, not at all.”

“You sure?”

“Yes,” Kevin said. “I don’t want vodka to make me forget you.”

Jeremy smiled at him, and moved the hand on his lap over to Kevin’s thigh. It didn’t move, it just sat there like a warm, comfortable weight.

“I like making you happy. You deserve it.”

“I wouldn’t go that far. I’ve been told I’m a bit of an ass,” Kevin said before looking back out into the crowd for Jean. Jeremy laughed, taking his hand back and drinking the last sip of his mixed drink.

“It’s true, but you’re an ass with a great ass.”

Kevin must have had some kind of look on his face, because as soon as Jeremy looked back at him he burst out laughing.

“Okay, big guy,” Jeremy said, who stood up and held out his hand. “Let’s dance.”

“No.”

“No? Who doesn’t like dancing?”

“I don’t dance any more,” Kevin said. It didn’t take long to realize he said the wrong thing.

“Any more?” Jeremy said with a laugh. “So it’s not that you can’t dance, it’s that you don’t want to dance with me.”

“I didn’t say that,” Kevin replied with a severity in his tone.

“That’s exactly what you said,” Jeremy said, hands on his hips as he stared down at Kevin.

Kevin let out a huff of breath, reached for the vodka, poured out a shot and took it. He looked back at Jeremy with a scowl.

“God dammit,” Kevin said under his breath, before he reached out to take Jeremy’s hand and allowed himself to be pulled up.

The bass from the music filtered through the soles of his shoes and straight into his heart. Kevin couldn’t lie to himself: He missed this, he missed the anonymity of being a random person in a random bar with other random people. The song changed just as Jeremy grabbed his hand again to lead them into the middle of the crowd.

It didn’t take long to find the other Trojans. Alvarez and Dermott were dancing while Jean and the freshman made vague dance-like movements, but Jeremy and Kevin fit right in. Jeremy started to move his hips, arms in the air and moving in a way that only a person with alcohol in their veins would.

Kevin watched as he danced to the music and decided that he could watch him for hours. As he did on the Exy court, Jeremy had a way of captivating his audience; knowing exactly how to move and keep all eyes on him.

There were colours that Kevin associated with Jeremy: Red, the deep blood shade of his uniform and the light tint of it when blush kissed his cheeks; Yellow, like the soft, vibrant colour of his hair and the way his skin looked in the California sun; Blue, his eyes a shade that can only be found in detailed paintings or manipulated in the software he used to edit his photography, blue that shouldn’t be seen by the human eye, but somehow he has it and uses it to see through every single phrase Kevin has ever uttered.

But now he was green and purple and orange and every colour raining down from the strobe lights above them and Kevin wanted to keep them all. He wanted to take the bright purple that hit Jeremy and turned a shocking violet on the beads of sweat dripping down his neck, and burn it into his memory. He wanted the muted green that hit Jeremy’s curly hair, giving him the halo he deserved, and he wanted to paint every wall in his dorm with it. If he could, Kevin would take every one of these colours and recreate the fucking rainbow with them, but it still wouldn’t be enough. No one would understand unless they were here, in this sweaty club watching this beautiful man with vodka in their veins and some kind of ache in their heart.

“You need to move, man,” Jeremy said, grabbing at his hands and moving him like a child. Kevin felt his body move before he really thought about it, reacting more to Jeremy than the beat. The closer Kevin got, the more he saw the strobe lights dance off Jeremy’s face, and it reminded him of that line of light from the night before. It took everything in his being to resist reaching out to touch his face.

“I am moving, you’re just distracting.”

Jeremy smirked and shimmied over to the girls when the song changed.

Kevin may not dance any more, but that doesn’t mean he forgot how to move. The dance floor is one place Kevin can be truly alone. No one cares about who he is or why he is there, he’s just one more person is a sea of people looking to feel something. One more glance at Jean was all he got before Alvarez pulled him over to their little trio and spun him around as best as someone that short could. Their happiness was infectious, and Kevin would never admit out loud how nice it was. It was exhilarating to pretend to be young and carefree.

Song after song after song, the four of them danced in their small circle. Jeremy’s hand would lightly graze his own, but that was the extent of it. And Kevin was good with this. He wanted more, he always wanted more with Jeremy, but he wouldn’t be able to stop if he got a taste. It was the Trojans’ night, he was just a guest in their moment in the spotlight. But they didn’t need to touch, they didn’t even need to talk; Jeremy would give him a look once in a while and that was all Kevin needed. Jeremy was so loose and relaxed and happy that Kevin felt a piece of it just being near him.

A slow song came on and to Kevin’s surprise, the girls split up to take the boys into their arms. Dermott held out a hand to Kevin, and he was so elated that he couldn’t say no. She wasn’t as talkative as her girlfriend, but Kevin has only said about 15 words to her since they met. All he really needed to know was that she was a fierce competitor.

Dermott wrapped her arms around Kevin’s neck and they slow danced like awkward high-school kids would.

“You had a great game yesterday,” Kevin said into her ear to be heard over the music.

“Thank you!” She smiled at him before reaching up on her tippy toes to whisper in his ear. “I’m gonna rest my head on your chest. I need a timeout.”

Kevin nodded and she turned her head to rest her face against his pecs, moving slowly to the music.

“My god,” she said with a giggle. Kevin leaned his head down to hear her and she laughed some more. “You’re built like a brick shithouse.”

Kevin raised his eyebrows and that only made her laugh harder.

“I can see why he likes you.”

Kevin accidently stepped on Dermott’s toes. He apologized, but she waved him off and got them back into the rhythm of the song.

“I didn’t mean to make things awkward. He just-“ she turned her head to the right to look at Jeremy and Alvarez, who were making a slow dance as sexual as possible and nearing hysterics. “He was so happy that you came to watch us play.”

“I am the captain of the Trojans fan club.”

Dermott laughed, but then levelled Kevin with a happy and serious stare. “You’re the captain of the Trojans fan club, but you’re president and CEO of the Jeremy Knox fan club.”

Kevin looked back at Jeremy, taking wide steps to rock himself and Alvarez in some goofy slow dance and he couldn’t help but smile.

“Yeah.”

The song ended and Kevin offered to get some water for Dermott. She accepted and when the music started to get a little faster they merged back into a foursome. Kevin was a little more daring than he was before Dermott’s words, so his hand found the small of Jeremy’s back when they were close enough.

“I’m getting some water. Do you want anything?”

“Water?” Jeremy asked, his hand sneaking around Kevin and into his back pocket.

“I can get you whatever you want. Doesn’t have to be water. What do you-“

“I want you.”

Time stops. It has to. This whole night was a fake and it’s actually just Jeremy and Kevin on the dance floor. That’s what it felt like when Jeremy looked at him like this, determined and excited. Kevin blinks at him, his brain trying to come up with an appropriate answer until he feels Jeremy’s hand in his pocket squeeze.

“Let’s switch to water. I want to make sure everyone gets home before I get to you.”

Kevin swallowed hard and nodded for lack of a better response. He went to the bar to ask for water and watched as the crowd starts to thin.

* * *

 

Jeremy rounded up his drunk teammates and piled them into one cab after the other. They caught the last one with the girls and Kevin took the front seat because his hands itched to feel the skin that stretched over Jeremy’s ribs.

They parted ways at the dorms and Dermott gave Kevin an ominous pat on the shoulder before Jeremy opened the door to his room. That yellow from the streetlight outside was the only light in the room and Jeremy didn’t make to turn on anything else. He crowded Kevin against the wall in the entryway and reached out to take Kevin’s hand in his.

“I wanted to dance with you so bad,” Jeremy said. Kevin reached out

“Sorry.”

“No,” Jeremy said with a sigh, “it’s not your fault. I knew better than to fall for the famous guy in a committed relationship.”

Kevin didn’t want to think about that. He just wanted to think about Jeremy and his perfect skin and his bright smile and the way he looked tonight. He wrapped an arm around Jeremy’s back and pulled him in until he was flush against Kevin’s body. Jeremy was hot, his shirt was still damp from the club and Kevin wanted nothing more than to get him out of it. But for now, he would settle for kissing Jeremy hard on the mouth.

Jeremy was ravenous, but Kevin pulled away and steadied himself with a deep breath.

“I don’t mean to sneak around. I’m not ashamed of you, I’m just doing it for Thea. She means a lot to me, and I don’t want her to have to deal with any more bullshit than she already does,” Kevin said. Jeremy looked away at Thea’s name, but Kevin wasn’t having any of that.

“Hey,” he said, kissing Jeremy’s cheek until he looked into Kevin’s eyes. “You mean a lot to me, too. And you deserve so much more.

“But I’m selfish,” Kevin said, catching Jeremy’s lips in another kiss. Kevin tried to put every ounce of want he could into this kiss, and didn’t break away until he was almost gasping for breath. “I want you and I find it hard to convince myself otherwise when Thea doesn’t care and you make me feel like this.”

“Kevin,” Jeremy said in what sounded like a pained tone. He wrapped his arms around Kevin and rested his forehead on Kevin’s chest. Jeremy’s hair smelled like his fancy shampoo, and Kevin placed a kiss on the top of his head.

“I’ll do anything you want, outside of breaking up with Thea,” Kevin said, wrapping Jeremy up in his arms. “You don’t deserve it, but I’m begging you to hang on.”

Jeremy pulled away, but took Kevin’s face in his hands. He opened his mouth to say something, but hesitated and closed his mouth. Jeremy pulled Kevin down into a closed mouth kiss and spoke against Kevin’s lips.

“I’ll take whatever you’re willing to give me,” Jeremy said, but his voice was shaky and his heartbeat was pounding against Kevin’s hand on his neck.

“You name it and it’s yours.”

Jeremy’s fingers went to bottom of his own T-shirt and he ripped it over his head in the blink of an eye. Kevin took Jeremy’s hands when they went to his own belt and Kevin smirked at him.

“Why are you doing my job for me?” Kevin asked, taking his time to undo Jeremy’s belt and pull it out of the belt loops. Jeremy saw right through that bravado, gripped his fists in the front of Kevin’s shirt and pulled him down.

“Fuck me.”

Jeremy said it like it wasn’t a question but an order. One that Kevin was more than happy to see through.

“I don’t know-”

“I’ll show you everything.” Jeremy tugged on his shirt a little more until they could kiss. He whispered something of a please on Kevin’s lips, breathless and whining. Kevin took Jeremy’s wrist in his hands so he would let go of his desperate grip on Kevin’s shirt.

“Ok,” Kevin replied. He tried kissing Jeremy’s fingertips, but the smile on his face made it hard to pucker his lips.

That smile was all Jeremy needed, and he quickly disposed of Kevin’s shirt. Jeremy left the rest to him and took off his own shorts. By the time Kevin got his shoes off, Jeremy was stark naked on the bed and pulling lube and a condom out of his bedside drawer.

Kevin fiddled with the button on his shorts until he heard the whimper that escaped Jeremy’s mouth. When Kevin looked up, he froze at the sight of two fingers disappearing inside Jeremy and the strain of his neck muscles when he threw his head back in pleasure. It was a full 15 seconds before Kevin moved an inch, and then his shorts were off and he took cautious steps toward the bed. Jeremy was seemingly distracted, so Kevin ran his knuckles along the inside of the leg that Jeremy was holding up at the knee.

“Let me help,” Kevin said, his gaze dropping down to watch Jeremy’s wrist turn.

“I just want to be ready,” Jeremy said, and when Kevin looked back at his face, he whimpered again.

“We’ve got time,” Kevin said while picking up the lube and taking a seat on the edge of the bed. “I’m not going anywhere.” Jeremy sat up to kiss Kevin, and it was physically impossible to not take a look down at Jeremy’s dick.

“Give me your hand,” Jeremy said. Kevin placed his upturned hand in Jeremy’s. Jeremy dropped his leg to rest in Kevin’s lap and took the lube from Kevin’s loose grasp. Kevin watched as Jeremy opened the bottle, squeezed some onto Kevin’s fingers and snapped the lid closed before tossing it back on the bed. He looked up at Jeremy in silent question and Jeremy smiled before placing an off-centre kiss on Kevin’s lips. He leaned back down, picked up his discarded leg and grabbed Kevin’s dripping fingers.

Jeremy walked him through it like he said he would. When to twist his fingers, when to curl them and when to apply more pressure. Kevin had to get on his knees when he really got into it, giving him better leverage and a view of Jeremy’s face. Kevin knew he wasn’t perfect, but he recognized the sounds Jeremy was making and knew he was on the right track. Kevin had taken hold of Jeremy’s leg so he could bury his fingers in Kevin’s short hair, but now Jeremy’s hand reached out for his dick, but he stopped himself. Kevin looked down at Jeremy’s hand, curled into a fist and sitting on above his heart.

“Can I-” Kevin said, needing to clear his throat, “Can I use my mouth?”

“Pardon?” Jeremy asked, snapping his head up.

“Can I suck you off?” Jeremy smiled at him and reached above his head for a pillow, pushing Kevin back when he sat up. Jeremy lifted his hips, slid the pillow underneath and settled back down.

“Absolutely,” Jeremy said, getting one more kiss in when Kevin knelt down over him. Kevin didn’t wipe the lube off his fingers, so he put those fingers back to the slick skin at his entrance while his other hand took a firm grip of Jeremy’s dick. Kevin looked at Jeremy’s face while he twisted his fingers and kept his gaze while he lowered his lips over the head of dick. “Oh god, you’re doing both,” Jeremy said with a frantic chuckle before   moaning.

Kevin wound his tongue around Jeremy’s head twice before fitting as much of him as he could in his mouth, and that was it. Jeremy pulled on Kevin’s hair and Jeremy came all over Kevin’s face and tongue with a pleased grunt.

Kevin removed his hands from Jeremy and sat back on his heels with a laboured breath. His hands were wet and sticky, his face was a mess and his wrist had an odd tension because of the way his arm was bent for the past few minutes. But Jeremy was smiling and trying to hide the satisfaction on his face in the crook of his elbow.

“You’re a fast learner,” Jeremy said with a sigh, grabbing the pillow from under him and chucking it. When he leaned back, Kevin shot him a confused look.

“You say that like you’re surprised.” Jeremy laughed so loud Kevin actually startled, but he grinned as he walked to the bathroom to clean up.

His briefs miraculously stayed on through that whole scene, but he was hard underneath. He kept them on and washed his face, filled a glass with water and returned to the bedroom. Jeremy hadn’t moved, but shuffled to get his back up against the headboard when he saw the water in Kevin’s hand.

“So that wasn’t one of my fantasies or anything,” Jeremy said after drinking almost half the water in one go. He looked up to hand the cup to Kevin and smirked at the look on his face. “That was sarcasm. It’s actually true.”

“It’s not.”

“It is,” Jeremy reassured him, waiting for Kevin to take a drink before pulling him down onto the bed.

“I’d never done that before, why would you fantasize about that?”

“Because it’s you,” Jeremy said. He pulled Kevin’s head to his and kissed his lips and then his tattoo. “For the record, you were so much better than I could have ever imagined.”

“I had a good teacher,” Kevin replied. Jeremy pushed him onto his back in the centre of the bed. Kevin was brought back to that morning when Jeremy climbed on top of him, but this time he was already naked and practically glowing.

“It is. Although,” Jeremy gave Kevin’s neck a kiss and pulled back, “now I’m curious about what it would feel like with your right hand.” Said right hand touched every available piece of skin it could reach, but it wasn’t enough.

“If you’re going to keep this up, get me out of these,” Kevin said, gesturing to his briefs and lifting Jeremy in the air momentarily to relieve some of the pressure.  Jeremy pushed him back down onto the bed with his palms against Kevin’s chest. Kevin smiled at his look of determination as he climbed off Kevin and pulled his underwear off.

Jeremy threw those across the room with abandon, and Kevin was about to give him hell for it, but Jeremy settled onto his thighs and ran his short nails down and over his hips. Kevin’s felt blush on his cheeks as his entire body twitched.

“Are you ready for this?” Jeremy asked as he crawled up Kevin’s chest and pressed kisses to Kevin’s jaw.

“What was it you were saying about my right hand?” Kevin asked back, his fingers sliding through the lube left over from earlier. Jeremy bite Kevin’s bottom lip in response, so Kevin pushed in one finger to the second knuckle and swallowed Jeremy’s noises.

He listened to the breathless sounds coming out of Jeremy, added another finger, and then another. His nerves were keeping his libido at bay, but soon that wouldn’t be enough. Jeremy was getting hard again and must have seen the concentration on Kevin’s face when he came up for air, because he immediately dug around on the comforter to find the condom he threw down earlier.   

Kevin held his hand out, but Jeremy pushed his hand out of the way and put the condom on Kevin. Just having Jeremy’s hands on him was amazing, but his nerves were finally ready to seize hold of Kevin and ruin this entire moment. _What if I’m not good enough? What if I can’t do this? What if-_

“Kevin.”

Jeremy took Kevin’s face into his hands. Kevin didn’t know he was gripping the sheets like his life depended on it until he let go, and once he took a deep breath in, Jeremy smiled.

“There he is,” Jeremy whispered. They kissed slowly until Kevin wrapped his arms around Jeremy’s shoulders and buried his face into Jeremy’s neck. “I’m right here. If you need to stop, we can.”

“No,” Kevin said quickly. “I want this, please.”

“OK. Let me know if you need anything,” Jeremy said, reaching behind himself to take Kevin in his hand and line himself up.

This wasn’t the first time Kevin had sex. The first with a man, but not the first. The mechanics were the same, the result was the same, but there was an entirely new side of sex that Kevin didn’t get to experience until that moment. The feeling of Jeremy lowering down on him, the heat that was made worse by the infinitely slow pace, how different it was than what his fingers had felt minutes before. But it was the faces and sounds Jeremy made that really got to Kevin. This moment, all of these looks and gasps and groans, was just for the two of them. It was theirs and Jeremy felt so good and looked like a god while he was riding Kevin.

He didn’t really mean to, but for a split second he thought about Thea fucking him just like this in the Nest. She was so muscular and soft and made every movement with purpose. Jeremy had the muscle, too, but he wanted to feel more. He kissed Kevin every chance he got, laced their fingers together and brought them above Kevin’s head and whispered sweet nothings into his ears. Thea was going to have a good time, but she had a job to do. With Jeremy, it was like time didn’t matter.

The comparisons stopped when Jeremy put his hands on Kevin’s legs and began to ride him in earnest. Kevin had never seen something so beautiful as Jeremy in those moments, with his eyes closed and his head tipped back and one hand on his cock. Kevin wanted to touch him everywhere, but settled for running his hands down Jeremy’s chest and trying to hold him in one position so he could fuck into him.

“Yes, please,” Jeremy said, but pulled himself off of Kevin and lied down beside him. His fingers were threading into his hair by the time Kevin climbed on top of him, but Kevin had to stop and give Jeremy a long look. His messed-up hair, the smile on his face, the red marks on his neck and shoulders left by Kevin’s mouth, the sweat on his chest.

“You’re amazing,” Kevin said, and he pushed back in before Jeremy could respond. Jeremy felt even hotter than before, if that was even possible.

“Kevin,” Jeremy said, gripping his biceps on a particularly hard thrust.

“You’re so,” Kevin whined, “amazing.” He breathed into Jeremy’s ear and picked up his pace. “Fucking perfect.”

“Kevin,” Jeremy said with a severe tone and gripped his fingers into Kevin’s back. “Don’t stop.”

“Is this what you wanted?” Kevin asked. He pulled back to kiss Jeremy and then levelled him with a look without missing a beat in his thrusts. “Is this how you wanted me, Jeremy?”

“Fuck,” Jeremy groaned, and he lowered one of his hands to his own dick. That light was still leaking in from the window, and it was more prepared to destroy Kevin now than it was last night.

Kevin swore and took Jeremy’s nipple into his mouth in an attempt to shut himself up, but he was betrayed by the deviously sexual sound Jeremy made. “You feel so fucking good, Jeremy.”

“Kevin, I can’t hold on-”

Kevin took that as a challenge. He pulled himself up, readjusted to find a better angle and began taking Jeremy apart with deep, long thrusts. It was like nothing Kevin had ever felt before. He squeezed his eyes closed just to centre himself, but opened them when Jeremy called his name.

“Kevin.”

He looked down at Jeremy and saw it all in his look. The hand on his dick had started to slow and his cheeks were so red it looked like he had a fever. Kevin gave him a smile before leaning down for one more kiss.

“Give it to me.”

It was more like a wish than an order, but it did what Kevin wanted it to do. Jeremy came as soon as the words left his mouth and Kevin was not ready for it. Jeremy’s body convulsed and Kevin came with a cry. He pulled Jeremy to his body as his thrusts got slower and slower until he was panting into Jeremy’s hair. Kevin stayed still, and then he stayed a little longer because he enjoyed Jeremy’s fingers running up and down his spine.

With a kiss to Jeremy’s temple, Kevin pulled out of Jeremy and stood up beside the bed. He knew he had to get rid of the condom, but his legs were still shaking and five steps seemed like too many.

“Come on, this is why you do all those squats,” Jeremy laughed at him, but he wasn’t moving either.

“No amount of squats could have prepared me for that,” Kevin said with a shake of his head. He pushed himself away from the bed and made it to the bathroom on wobbly legs. When he returned, Jeremy was sitting on the edge of the bed and staring out his bedroom window. Kevin wanted to pull him back against his chest, but he thought better of it and took a seat beside him. “I was serious, you know.”

“Hmm?”

“You’re perfect, Jeremy.”

“Don’t,” Jeremy warned, but he picked up Kevin’s left hand and threaded their fingers together.

“Come on-”

“I’m serious, Kevin. If this is the only way I can have you, don’t tempt me with more.” Jeremy refused to look away from their hands, but Kevin let go and put his arm around Jeremy and pulled him in.

“I’m not trying to tempt you, it’s just the truth. You’re amazing.” Kevin kissed his forehead before Jeremy took his turn in the bathroom.

The bed was a mess and the sheets were even worse, but he stripped the comforter off and put all the pillows back where they should be. Kevin was settled on the inside of the bed when Jeremy returned with a full glass of water. He held up the sheet for Jeremy to get in and took the glass with the other.

When they were both settled, it felt like an hour past before either of them spoke. Jeremy had his head on Kevin’s chest directly over his heart and every once in a while Kevin would lean forward to kiss blonde curls.

“Can we just stay like this for a while?” Jeremy asked.

“I’d like that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it. I didn't really mean for this to be this sad, but here we are.
> 
> Come yell at me on tumblr if you want.


End file.
